I AM SO EXCITED!

Richard will have the next 9 days off!

Why, may you ask, is he taking such a long time off and how did he manage that being a car salesman? Well...after 7 years of putting up with:

* not getting vacation time he puts in for months in advance
* missed birthdays and anniversaries
* 45 minutes commutes
* no time to eat lunch
* many, many missed dinners
* going in early on Sunday and missing church
* $1000 monthly guarantee taken away
* being called on days off
* being asked to come in early
* never having 2 days off in a row
* working when he's sick
* being disrespected in front of co-workers
* being disrespected in front of clients
* last minute schedule changes
* being told you're not selling enough, when you're the top seller of the month
* seldom coming home before 8 p.m.
* feeling used and not appreciated
* never being told your doing a good job

....he is turning in his resignation TODAY! He will take the next nine days off and then start at a different dealership, much closer to home, on August 10th. It's perfect timing too. My niece is getting married on August 8th and we have a lot of family coming into town, so he'll be able to relax and have fun. I am very proud of Richard's work ethic. He works his butt off every day for us. I don't know how he's lasted this long, having to put up with so much @#$%! I love you, Richard!

HOW THE INTERNET BEGAN!

My dad sent we an email with this link. It's too funny not to share!

  

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

                                         

She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"  

   

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price.  

And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. 

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. 

And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to horse flesh. 

and, before very long, there were many others and They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short. 

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, 

 

that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

    

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, 

(or as it came to be known "eBay") he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began, It wasn't Al Gore after all.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

PARENTING by THE BOOK DISCIPLINE...PART 2

CHAPTER 10 LEADERSHIP DISCIPLINE

Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. Proverbs 13:24

"With rare exception, today's parents believe in behavior modification-that "correct" consequences, correctly used, will correct a child's misbehavior.....behavior modification works with animals, but not with children." (p. 199)

I think behavior modification is worth a try, but I don't think it works most of the time. As the author says, " the child will deny that a consequence, even one that is highly punitive, has any power or relevance in his or her life."

"It is vital that children understand that different choices result in different consequences. But that understanding does not guarantee proper behavior." (p. 202)

"So, what should parents do when consequences have 'failed,' when they have done the right thing and their child keeps right on doing the wrong thing? They should keep doing the right thing-they should keep right on delivering consequences. They should never give up on the good fight. This misguided belief that right consequences produce right behavior is the source of most of the frustration many of today's parents experience in the area of discipline." (p. 203)

I am disgusted to see so many parents literally "give-up" on their child. I have also had parents literally tell me, "I give up. I don't know what else to do." In doing this they try to throw the success of their child back in my lap. In fact, when I delve a little more, I come to find that they (1) do not hold their child responsible, (2) continue to flower the child with things they don't deserve, (3) don't really want to discipline because it would inconvenience them (They wouldn't be able to go the the casino, if they had to watch over whether their child was doing what they were suppose to do.). How can you "give up" on a ten year old?


"If these behavioral problems [ADD, ODD, CBD] were inherited, how is it that they were virtually unheard-of fifty-plus years ago?" (p. 204)

"The process by which parents transform a willful child into a willing disciple...is accomplished by providing the child with effective leadership." (p. 206)

"Effective leaders-people who have a knack for making other people want to follow their lead-are distinguished not by how cleverly they manipulate reward and punishment, but by the following:" (p. 207)

* They may disapprove of what you do, but they always approve of you (unconditional positive regard).
* They lead through example. They do not expect others to do what they have not themselves done or are unwilling to do.
* They are enthusiastic concerning their vision, and their enthusiasm is communicable.
* They motivate others to follow their lead through positive coaching and encouragement, by helping people reach down inside themselves and bring out the best in themselves. And because they help people become the very best they can be, those people look up to them.
* They are decisive and willing to make unpopular decisions
* They "stay the course" when the going gets rough.

"....love and leadership are inseparable. The truly loving parent is one who provides not just ample nurturing, but effective discipline..." (p. 210)

Now this chapter goes into the controversial topic of spanking...personally, I don't think spanking should be your number one tool for disciplining, but I do feel that a swat now and then or a smack on the hand (when reaching toward the hot stove etc) can be quite useful and very effective when trying to get a little-ones attention.

"A spanking delivered, impulsively, in anger...is unlikely to do anything but cause resentment...discipline and punishment are not one and the same." (p. 214)

"...punitive expressions of your leadership should be the exception, not the rule." (p. 216)

"The usual anti spanking argument consists of three equally misleading assertions: (1) Spankings are likely to escalate into child abuse. (2) Spankings teach children that it's okay to hit people who upset you. (3) There is always an alternative to spanking.....no compelling evidence exists that might even come close to supporting these notions..."(p. 216)

The author states the following facts about spanking: (p. 217-219)

1. Spankings seem to be most effective between the ages of two and six.
2. Spankings are most effective when paired with another consequence, such as removal of a privilege.
3. Spankings do not easily or normally escalate into child abuse.
4. The more often a child is spanked, the less effective any given spanking will be.
5. No evidence suggests that spankings per se are harmful.

The author then goes into the "How-tos" of spanking: (p. 219-221)

* the hand is the only appropriate means of administering a spanking
* spankings should not be delivered in anger
* child should know why they are being spanked
* spankings should be reserved for the most serious of offenses (belligerence, defiance, stealing, lying, assault)
* parents should stay with the child until his/her distress has passed, at which time the parent should reassure the child of the parent's abiding love

"....there are certain times when a swift pop or two to the rear, without prior conversation or even so much as a warning, will be appropriate...spanking is designed not so much to correct the behavior that's taking place, but to quickly terminate a misbehavior and get the child's attention." (p. 220)

"Effective discipline is not conveyed by methods, spanking or otherwise, but through effective communication of instructions and expectations-through leadership." (p. 221)

STUDY QUESTIONS:

1. HAVE YOU BEEN A BELIEVER IN BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION?

2. DOES YOUR LEADERSHIP STYLE MATCH THE DESCRIPTION OF AN EFFECTIVE LEADER?

3. IF YOU ONLY RELY ON SPANKINGS, HOW WILL YOU NOW HANDLE SOME OF THE MISBEHAVIOR FOR WHICH YOU HAVE SPANKED?

LETTING GO!

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix but to be supportive.
It is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
It is not to nag, scold or argue with,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try and become what dream I can be.

To let go is not to relive the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

PARENTING by THE BOOK DISCIPLINE...PART 1

The last three chapters in this book are on the topic of DISCIPLINE.

CHAPTER NINE: THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO

"Children do not have to be taught to misbehave; misbehavior comes naturally to them. The positive influence of significatn adults who are committed to the goal of raising a person of character is essential if a child is going to make, and keep making, the choice to behave properly, in a manner that is both respectful to others and respectful to self." (p. 189)

THE 10 SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPALS:

1. DISCIPLINE AND LOVE ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN:

The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:12

* proper parenting....equal measures of powerful love and powerful leadership
* love is meaningless without affirming action
* discipline is an expression of delight in one's child

2. PUNISHMENT IS NEVER PLEASANT BUT PRODUCES GREAT BENEFIT FOR THE PERSON PUNISHED:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

* if correction is not painful to the person corrected, it will have no effect
* two generations ago, parents had no problem making children feel bad when they did bad things

3. PUNISHMENT IS ESSENTIAL TO PROPER DISCIPLINE:

Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Hebrews 12:6

* proper discipline, including punishment when appropriate, is an expression of love
* Postmodern Psychological Parenting has one believe that punishment lowers self-esteem and caused behavioral problems to become worse

4. PROPER DISCIPLINE VALIDATES A CHILD:

If you are not disciplined....then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Hebrews 12:8

* parental failure to discipline is a form of child neglect
* as a mature individual is justified to God by his or her faith, a child is justified to society through proper parental discipline

5. OBEDIENT CHILDREN ARE PLEASING TO THEIR PARENTS:

Discipline you son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17

* parents who are content with and in their parenting have children who are respectful, well-mannered, and obedient
* parents who seem constantly under stress, exasperated, and worried have children who are ill-behaved
* properly behaved children are no accident

6. CHILDREN ARE TO OBEY THEIR PARENTS:

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20

* a relationship with God requires self-discipline
* parents who properly discipline their children are likely to raise self-disciplined children

7. OBEDIENCE WILL BRING BLESSINGS TO CHILDREN

Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9

* children do not grant adults wishes
* the primary blessings of good behavior flow to the children themselves

8. THE MOST OBEDIENT CHILDREN ARE ALSO THE HAPPIEST, MOST SELF-RESPECTING CHILDREN:

He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. Proverbs 15:32

* the happiest parents always seem to have the most obedient children
* obedience to legitimate authority is not only a sign of respect for the person in authority, but also of self-respect
* lacking respect for authority, they also lack self-respect
* children who score highest on adjustment scales tend to have parents who adhere to a traditional model

9. A LACK OF DISCIPLINE CONTRIBUTES TO DEATH-IN THE EVERLASTING SENSE:

Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18

* proper discipline sets a child on the right road, but it's up him to see to it that he stays there- or finds his way back when he stays
* proper discipline from parents makes it less arduous and painful for a child to properly discipline himself

10. DISCIPLINE IS THE WAY TO LIFE ETERNAL

These commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life. Proverbs 6:23

* discipline is the way to life, and a lack of discipline leads ultimately to death
* through proper discipline, a parent gives a child the greatest gift of all

STUDY QUESTIONS:

1. ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR CHILD IN KEEPING WITH THE EXPECTATIONS YOUR PARENTS HAD FOR YOU AT THE SAME AGE?

2. WHEN YOUR CHILD MISBEHAVES, DO YOU TEND TO HOLD BACK ON PUNISHMENT? WHY?

3. DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW THAT GOD WANTS THEM TO OBEY YOU?

PRODUCTS I LOVE #1

I've lived in NM for almost 20 years now and I've never found a lotion that I didn't have to apply at least 3 times a day to keep my skin from drying out. Well, I've finally found it! I apply this ONCE in the morning and I'm good all day and night. I LOVE IT!














This is the moisturizer I keep by the sink and in my desk. It's great for hands. Since I'm a teacher I use a lot of chalk and my hands need extra attention. This works beautifully!
















This is my favorite toothbrush. It works like all the expensive kinds, but it only costs $15.00.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #50...MUD FESTIVAL

For more WORDLESS WEDNESDAY pictures go to 5 MINUTES FOR MOM.

TWO SENSE TUESDAYS #21...Rude children

Being a new mother I seem to get a lot of advice, which can be helpful, but is also very frustrating when it's from people who are insistent that their way is the BEST way. I also get advice (because I'm an adoptive mother) from those who think that my son is just a stand-in until I get "the real thing."

Each week I will post a new question. I'd love it if you'd play along and offer us new mothers your pearls of wisdom.

HERE IS THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:

How do you deal with other people's rude children? Do you say something or ignore the behavior? How do you deal with your own children when they're rude and you're in public?

Things I will probably never have, but if I had enough money I would...

From time to time, everyone thinks about what they would have, if they had tons of money......come on...admit it...you've thought about it. These are not my top three, but they would certainly be nice.

I'd love to have a beautiful ski cabin in Colorado. I don't enjoy being cold on a regular basis, but this would make a nice weekend get-away.

Of course, if I could afford that second home, I'd need a personal chef too, which... 
...leads right into a full-time maid. 

If I had a chef and a maid, imagine all the wonderful things I could be doing with all my extra time.....imagine...imagine....

....imagine......imagine....

OK, NOW TELL ME WHAT ARE THREE THINGS YOU'VE DREAMED ABOUT HAVING!?!

PRAYERS NEEDED!

Pray for Stellan!!! He will soon be airlifted to Boston for delicate surgery. His little heart is beating at over 200 beats a minute. You are in God's hands, Stellan!