The last three chapters in this book are on the topic of DISCIPLINE. CHAPTER NINE: THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO
"Children do not have to be taught to misbehave; misbehavior comes naturally to them. The positive influence of significatn adults who are committed to the goal of raising a person of character is essential if a child is going to make, and keep making, the choice to behave properly, in a manner that is both respectful to others and respectful to self." (p. 189)
THE 10 SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPALS:
1. DISCIPLINE AND LOVE ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN:
The Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:12
* proper parenting....equal measures of powerful love and powerful leadership
* love is meaningless without affirming action
* discipline is an expression of delight in one's child
2. PUNISHMENT IS NEVER PLEASANT BUT PRODUCES GREAT BENEFIT FOR THE PERSON PUNISHED:
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11
* if correction is not painful to the person corrected, it will have no effect
* two generations ago, parents had no problem making children feel bad when they did bad things
3. PUNISHMENT IS ESSENTIAL TO PROPER DISCIPLINE:
Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Hebrews 12:6
* proper discipline, including punishment when appropriate, is an expression of love
* Postmodern Psychological Parenting has one believe that punishment lowers self-esteem and caused behavioral problems to become worse
4. PROPER DISCIPLINE VALIDATES A CHILD:
If you are not disciplined....then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Hebrews 12:8
* parental failure to discipline is a form of child neglect
* as a mature individual is justified to God by his or her faith, a child is justified to society through proper parental discipline
5. OBEDIENT CHILDREN ARE PLEASING TO THEIR PARENTS:
Discipline you son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul. Proverbs 29:17
* parents who are content with and in their parenting have children who are respectful, well-mannered, and obedient
* parents who seem constantly under stress, exasperated, and worried have children who are ill-behaved
* properly behaved children are no accident
6. CHILDREN ARE TO OBEY THEIR PARENTS:
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20
* a relationship with God requires self-discipline
* parents who properly discipline their children are likely to raise self-disciplined children
7. OBEDIENCE WILL BRING BLESSINGS TO CHILDREN
Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9
* children do not grant adults wishes
* the primary blessings of good behavior flow to the children themselves
8. THE MOST OBEDIENT CHILDREN ARE ALSO THE HAPPIEST, MOST SELF-RESPECTING CHILDREN:
He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. Proverbs 15:32
* the happiest parents always seem to have the most obedient children
* obedience to legitimate authority is not only a sign of respect for the person in authority, but also of self-respect
* lacking respect for authority, they also lack self-respect
* children who score highest on adjustment scales tend to have parents who adhere to a traditional model
9. A LACK OF DISCIPLINE CONTRIBUTES TO DEATH-IN THE EVERLASTING SENSE:
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death. Proverbs 19:18
* proper discipline sets a child on the right road, but it's up him to see to it that he stays there- or finds his way back when he stays
* proper discipline from parents makes it less arduous and painful for a child to properly discipline himself
10. DISCIPLINE IS THE WAY TO LIFE ETERNAL
These commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life. Proverbs 6:23
* discipline is the way to life, and a lack of discipline leads ultimately to death
* through proper discipline, a parent gives a child the greatest gift of all
STUDY QUESTIONS:
1. ARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR CHILD IN KEEPING WITH THE EXPECTATIONS YOUR PARENTS HAD FOR YOU AT THE SAME AGE?
2. WHEN YOUR CHILD MISBEHAVES, DO YOU TEND TO HOLD BACK ON PUNISHMENT? WHY?
3. DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW THAT GOD WANTS THEM TO OBEY YOU?
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