Sunday, March 28, 2010

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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4 comments:

April said...

How funny! That gave me a good laugh-especially the deceased person in the envelope and the church ladies casting off clothes :)

Jacksmom said...

That's great, where did you find them?

BB said...

Ok, so it is unacceptable how hard I laughed at this! Funny!

BB said...

Ok, so it is unacceptable how hard I laughed at this! Funny!