WHAT WE'LL BE DOING WITH ALL THE TAX MONEY WE GET BACK!

Remember a few weeks back when I got my hand slapped by a commenter for calling Samuel, my little "write off." Well, I finally finished my list of what we are going to do with all that glorious tax money we get back!

#1 - Ferguson Hill Horn Speakers ($16,000): The bigger the better right!?!
#2 - This $32,000 gold belt will be the ultimate fashion statement.

#3 - How about this life size (twenty-two-foot) camarasaurus dinosaur replica for $50,000. I'm not greedy. This would be for Samuel. Garden gnomes are cute and everything, but this would really make us the talk of the neighborhood. The best part...the shipping is free.

#4 - I've finally solved my coffee pot woes, with this Nespresso Crystal Edition Coffee Maker. This bedazzling machine boasting 3,100 Swarovski-crystals is only $4,000.


#5- This authentic boardwalk photo booth for only $11,000 has a thermal photo printer that was designed by Polaroid, meaning there are never any chemicals to worry about (unlike with older models), ensuring loads of fun for years to come.


#6- It's one thing to integrate all our home electronics into one easy-to-control system, but what we really need is a virtual butler for just $20,000, to oversee everything and he even speaks with a British accent.

#7 - It's a stiletto! It's a tub! No, it's both! Talk about the perfect gift for the shoe connoisseur. Now only $17,000 - $27,000, depending on how many diamonds I want.

#8 - Imagine how jealous all our friends will be when they see Richard cruising down the street at a brisk 7 mph in his very own cupcake car for only $25,000.

#9- Well, now, who wouldn't want to do their business while seated on a $75,000 Swarovski crystal-encrusted commode.

#10 - Sure, a $5 corkscrew from the grocery store will open that bottle of wine, but this made-to-order $72,000 (yes, you read that correctly) corkscrew will open your most treasured friend's wine in opulent style—just what you need, right?

DON'T BE JEALOUS, NOW...IT'S NOT VERY BECOMING!