Being a new mother I seem to get a lot of advice, which can be helpful, but is also very frustrating when it's from people who are insistent that their way is the BEST way. I also get advice (because I'm an adoptive mother) from those who think that my son is just a stand-in until I get "the real thing." Last week I posted about a cute idea for a new series of posts. The ones that voted seemed to like the name TWO SENSE. So, that's what I'm going to call it...TWO SENSE TUESDAYS!
Each week I will post a new question. I'd love it if you'd play along and offer us new mothers your pearls of wisdom.
HERE IS THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
HOW DID YOU EXPLAIN TO YOUR CHILD THAT THEY WERE ADOPTED?
3 comments:
our boys are still pretty young but i still address the issue pretty regularily. i'll make comments like "you have pretty eyes like "A" or maybe you'll like baseball like "B". i talk about their birthparents like i talk about friends or family and know that one day they'll understand and hopefully have the same love and respect we do.
Ours boys are young but we've always talked about the boys adoption very openly. Since our boys are from Korea it is very obvious when we are out and about that we are not only an adoptive family but a multicultral family. I wanted them to be able to answer questions as they get older that are many times directed at them/us. We have always told them they have birth families in Korea and that someday they can search for them if they so choose.
Justin will be 8 this year and for the last year has started to ask more questions about his adoption. We answer as best we can when he asks and make sure to answer on his level and follow his lead. We are always sure to address his adoption in a positive light. We never say your birth mother gave you up (as people have at times said to us....sigh) We always say that your birth family wanted you to have the best life and that at the time she could not take care of ANY baby so she made an adoption plan and God brought us together.
We plan on always talking about her adoption. It's going to be obvious but even if it weren't we would do the same.
One thing I heard recently was to start now by just saying how happy you are that you adopted him. And even share the story of meeting K and him. That way it becomes comfortable to talk about.
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