Friday, October 17, 2008

Loving the process....

On Wednesday night we had our second adoptive parent training class. There was a panel, with an adoptive couple, a birthmom and an adult adoptee (my husband) that spoke and answered questions.

First, we heard from the adoptive couple. They started their process last November and in September they got their son. He was asleep in Dad's arms. The hardest part for her was dealing with her preconceived expectations: how long it should take, the relationship with the birthmother and dealing with her infertility.

Then we heard from my husband, Richard. He got to tell his story.

* What was the best part about being adopted?
* What was the worst part about being adopted?
* What is the most common question you get asked?
* Did kids tease you about being adopted?
* How did your parents tell you that you were adopted?
* What do you wish others knew and/or understood about adoption?

He did really well. I was very proud of him. He mixed information with humor and even made me cry. I love him so much.

Finally, we heard from a birthmom. Her story was tragic: adopted herself, abused, went into foster care, had a child as a teenager (Her son is now 4 and she is raising him.), 2 miscarriages, another pregnancy that resulted from rape, which she aborted and then at 22, found herself pregnant again. This is the child she gave up for adoption. She is happy with her decision and knows she did what was best for her and the baby.

By the end of the 2 hours we were all crying.

It's just wonderful to be able to share our story and experience and to be with people who truly understand and don't judge. One couple there already had their baby, we were the only couple already placed and just waiting and the rest were still in the paperwork phase. It was great to be able to offer them encouragement.

My husband said that he enjoyed it so much that, if we are invited back to speak after we get Sam, he would definitely do it again. This is such a different experience. We feel blessed, especially after our negative experience with CYFD.

We have 49 days left and that's ok...we are enjoying the wait...the anticipation....the process is making us stronger...


Amy said...

What a blessing, Tracey!

L L said...

That is great that you and Richard are enjoying the classes. And Bravo to Richard for speaking.

49 days!!! it is going to be here before you know it!

Annie said...

I'm glad there are positive experiences being shared. All we ever seem to hear about is the negatives.

Feel for you as far as CYFD or whatever they are called. Our version is a total nightmare as well.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

It sounds like you are learning so much through this process...incredible. And I love how proud you are of your hubby!

happymomof2 said...

I am so glad that you enjoyed yourself. I have found once you have gone through the adoption process, typically you could talk on and on about adoption (that is how my husband and I are) wanting to encourage/ help those who are thinking about adoption. We have talked several times on behalf of our agency and just recently my husband joined the board at the agency. Anyhoo Best Wishes!

Mama Smurf said...

Sounds like a fantastic support group.

Becky said...

I want to hear his answers to those questions!!!!
Can't believe it's under 50 days now!!!

Hubby and I have spoken on panels as the adoptive parents and it is always wonderful to be able to share our stories and experiences!

Debbie B said...

I'd love to hear Richard's responses to those questions if he ever wants to be a guest blogger!!!

Glad you had a good meeting.

My Goodness said...

That's fabulous! What a ministry you and your husband could have!