Up to this point, I was so scared about having an OPEN ADOPTION! I originally wanted a CLOSED ADOPTION, but agreed to have it semi-open, to hurry the process along. I didn't want to meet or know these other people. I didn't want anyone else involved. This was to be MY baby, period.
As soon as I met K and her parents, God opened my heart and I melted. K and her parents were so warm, inviting and understanding. K's parents love her a lot and because they've been in our shoes, they understand how nervous, emotional and scary this can be. Because K was adopted and my husband was adopted and also because K's mom wasn't able to have biological children and neither can I, we feel a very close connection to this family. Instantly, I became ok with this being an OPEN ADOPTION. My husband and I are even going to the ultrasound on Monday. This is now "OUR" baby: God, K, and my husband and I. I need K to carry the child, she needs us to raise the child and we need God's grace and strength to guide us through this process and over the next 18 + years. We are all in this together.
We're going to take this one step at a time and I don't know what will happen down the road, but I've put it all in God's hands and I know everything will be ok.
K has invited me to be in the delivery room too, but I need to do some praying on that one. She is a very sweet girl and I do not want to make this harder then it has to be. I don't want my presence in the delivery room to make it harder on her.
My head is still spinning and my body tingles every time I think about it.
After we got home from meeting K, the birth mom, my husband and I held each other and cried. We're already MADLY in love with this little angle. We know this is the baby God meant for us to have.
16 comments:
It was meant to be.
My two cents - don't miss the delivery of your baby.
You've got me covered in goose pimples again.:)
I'm so excited for you and your husband and your new little baby.
I will be praying for all of you.
God Bless,
Amy:)
I admire your strong faith so much, Tracey...and I know that is what will see you though whatever may come your way.
I share your feelings of initial doubt at the whole open adoption idea, but I have also made peace with the notion now, for the sake of our future child. It comforts me to hear you affirm what I've read, that you felt an instant connection to and comfort with your birth family, and that that has made you feel OK with the openness adoption usually calls for in today's world.
Congratulations again, and GOOD LUCK...I can't wait to hear how the ultrasound goes!
Melba
okay..I am stilly crying, happy happy tears. May God continue to lead you.
I am very happy for you. This sounds right on so many levels. It's also wonderful to hear that you've opened your heart to the birth family. They really do sound wonderful.
Tracey- I know so many people who share the experience with open adoption. It IS a scary thing to imagine and I honestly think it is way too difficult to say that you are going to invite a person whom you have never met into your life forever. For me, that is too difficult. But once you know them, I think most of the time, everything will just mesh - because that is why you are matched in the first place. At this point, I am unwilling to say I'm completely open to open adoption, but I can say that I HOPE my experience mirrors yours. Congrats!
Tracy,
I'm so happy for you, and I also understand the range of emotions you are feeling. If you ever need someone to talk to, I would love to talk with you!
It's a crazy ride, but remember that God is in control!
Tracy,
I'm so happy for you...and so glad you found me (and my blog). Hold on for the ride of your life. There will be a LOT of emotions, let them come, and remember that God is in Control!!
If you ever want to talk...I would love that!
Wow! So much happening...congrats! I've heard many, many people express reservations about open adoptions until meeting the right birth mom and then suddenly feeling like it is the right choice for their family. I'm glad you are feeling good about that. And enjoy these last months leading up to the birth - such an exciting time.
And thanks for the compliments on my babies! I happen to think they are the most beautiful children ever - but I might be a wee bit biased.
What an incredible gift! I echo the madly in love with a baby we've never met part! (and we haven't even been matched!)
I had to come back on and say how much I love your ticker! God has found our baby. So true!
Congratulations!! I have been out of the blogging realm for a few days getting my classroom set up, so I just now found out about your baby! I am so happy for you! God definitely had a hand in this one- it was meant to be.
If she is open to it, don't miss it. It's nice to see a friendly face when you are so vulnerable. It will allow her to bless you even more.
Interim care happens when there is an issue with one of the birthparents consenting to the adoption. It's looking pretty positive right now, but he goes to interim care so that we don't get even more attached than we already are.
I get chills reading this post. I was in your same mindset 10 months ago and look at us now. I would tell you to be in the delivery room. My friend was just in the delivery room when her son was born (theirs is closed though) and she got to hear his first cry. When the birthmom was asked if the adoptive mom was staying for the delivery she said, "yes, it's her baby." So if she invites you go. She can always change her mind if it's too hard on her.
Everyone says what you just did! Once they meet the birth mom, most often fears about open adoption fade. You do become that baby's mother, there is no threat that that will be taken away! The connection with the 'first' mother is still very important...to that child. Open adoption is really about the child, not the others of us involved!!
Be in the room if she is comfortable with it! I didn't get to be with either of mine and how I wish I could have!!
Just know that she may feel that she wants you to now but, when the time comes, she could feel differently and that is OK. Don't be worried or scared by that.
Just praying and praying ad praying for you all!!!
In Christ!!
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