.....AND WE GO UP AGAIN!

So after my post, on Wednesday, September 25, we spent two days crying, getting sick, cleaning our house and mourning. Then we woke up on the third day and went on with our lives.

Not 4 hours into that third day (Friday), my husband got a call that the birth mom, "J," had changed her mind, yet again.

At this time I was in the ANGER stage of mourning, so it wasn't pretty. That night my husband and I were up until midnight deciding what we wanted to do.

The next morning we called our caseworker back and said we would continue on the journey, only after a termination agreement was signed.

So, that was schedule for the following Friday (October 4) at 9:30 a.m., but then "birth dad" got out of jail, told "J" she was being a bad mother to give up her child and said he wanted his "rights."

Our caseworker said she would meet with "J" and "birth dad" this weekend and let them know that CYFD would be involved and try to get them to see what was best for this baby....and just so no "haters" try to respond to this blog....the "rights" of a heroine addict and a felon should not outweigh the needs of a 2 week old baby.

So after a "yes," "no," "yes" and now another, "no," we told our Caseworker that unless they schedule that meeting this weekend, and both agree to terminate this week, we have decided, for the welfare of all involved (Richard, Me, Sam and baby), that we are backing out of this situation.

We have purposefully structured out lives and made certain decisions so that we do not ride on the "crazy train." The welfare of our 4 1/2 year old son has to be our main concern. We have been (for lack of a better word), JACKED, around enough.

We wish little baby well, wherever he ends up, but we now feel that that is not with us.

We have been chewed up and spit out and we are done.

We need some time to mourn, forgive and find the strength to fight again.

God is good.