Monday, January 14, 2013

DEALING WITH THE F@!$?%} FOURS


Sam doesn't like sudden changes or transitions. He thrives on a routine. He knows the days of the week and uses them to keep things organized as to what comes next. "Monday, Wednesday and Friday I have preschool and Tuesday and Thursday are Penny Days (the nanny). Saturday is grocery shopping and Sunday is church day." We always talk about things in advance like: "Sam, you have 10 more minutes and then it's time to get ready for bed." or "Next, week we are going to move your little boy bed out and give you a big boy bed." If we try and change things suddenly he will usually have a melt down.

Lately our calm, sweat, cute, funny boy has become someone I don't know. WHERE DID MY SWEAT LITTLE BOY GO?

He is at a stage now where he wants to make more and more choices (We do let him make his own choices where possible.) and have his own way. Being four will be known as the year of the tantrum. If he doesn't like what we have told him ("You have to wear your coat outside. You can not have a cookie, you didn't eat your dinner."), he will start to cry and throw a tantrum. I tell him if he wants to cry he needs to go to the "crying room" (his room). This does lesson the crying jags some.

The worse time of the day is from about 6:30-7:30 pm, just before bed. My brother (who has twin girls) used to call this the WITCHING HOUR.

He has also become much more physical (jumping, running, climbing, chasing etc...) and loud (screeching like a 15 year old girl). He loves the animals, but tends to be too rough with them and we are having to watch out for their (cats' and dog's) well being. He's been told a number of times not to chase the cats and to pat the dog gently, but daily we are having to either take a toy away (because he is running his dump truck into the dog's legs) or giving him a time out (because he screamed at the cats to make them run away) because he is being too rough.

Any time he misbehaves we do discuss what he has done wrong, what would have been a better choice and why he was punished. We also bring to attention how proud we are of him when he's a good boy and being nice.

I think we are going to have to up the anti: send him to bed early or take a toy away for a whole day.

To be totally honest, we have dubbed this phase the F@!$?%} FOURS! (NOTE: Sorry, for the language, but yes, it is that bad!)

Would love some advice!!!!

1 comment:

Connie said...

I can't help with this one. We have ebbed and flowed through different stages, but I can't think of one that corresponds to such a marked change like this. Have you talked to his preschool teacher? I always find that interesting, since they see so many children of that age, and are so familiar with them developmentally.