Tuesday, September 4, 2012

BECOMING A BETTER ME...part #14

"This is the day which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice and be glad in it." 
~ Psalm 118:24


I LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND ENJOY EACH MOMENT.

I'm not sure who said it, but I love the phrase, "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift; that's why it's called the present."

There are FIVE syndromes I suffer from....

1. I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN SYNDROME:

I have always been one to be looking to the end, anxious for the journey to be over. Then I realized that the journey is the largest part of it all and the end is just the cherry on the top.

Until about the age of 30 my life went something like this:

When school starts, then I'll be happy. When the summer comes, then I'll be happy. When Christmas comes, then I'll be happy. When I have a boyfriend, then I'll be happy. When I graduate high school, then I'll be happy. When I graduate college, then I'll be happy. When I find a job, then I'll be happy. When I get married, then I'll be happy. When I have my own apartment, then I'll be happy. When I have a baby, then I'll be happy.....you get the idea.....

Jesus said, "I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)." John 10:10. He also said, "I have told you these things, that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy and gladness may be of full measure and complete and overflowing" (John 5:11).

I don't want to just survive or endure anymore, but rather ENJOY.

2. DO, DO, DO SYNDROME:

I'm sure I missed a lot of great opportunities and fun times because I was too busy with my long To Do list, planning the next thing, while doing the current thing.

I still have a long To Do List, but I want to enjoy, even the mundane activities: grocery shopping, vacuuming, driving, running errands. Sam has certainly helped in the area. Everything is so interesting and new to him. He asks so many questions and I want to see the world as he does. Little children can easily find a way to enjoy whatever they are doing. I want to  appreciate each moment that I've been given as a rare and precious gift from God. I will never get back the time I wasted, but I can do better from here on out.

Being productive was always the highest goal, but now I know that God is much more impressed with my "who" then with my "do." My worth and value are not in what I am doing, but in who I am.

I still love being productive, but now I am working on enjoying the process of working and not just the end product.

I have trouble slowing down. Sometimes I feel like a freeway in rush hour traffic? Because of this, I am a great multitasker, but this is not necessarrily a good thing. Sometimes it stresses me out and since my attention is split between multiple things, nothing is done as well as I could have done it, if I had focused on one thing at a time. Even in Ecclesiastes 5:1 is says, "Give your mind to what you are doing."

3. PERFECTIONISM SYNDROME:

I am a perfectionist so I expect a lot out of myself and others, too much. In fact, lot of my unhappiness was being caused by people not being what I wanted them to be or doing what I wanted them to do.

God created all kinds of people with different personalities and He says that what He has created is good, so I need to enjoy them as He does. I am not perfect and they won't be either.

4. REVERSE GEAR SYNDROME:

The past can be an unbearably heavy load when you try to carry it into your present. The way to let go of it is to get it off of your mind and out of your conversation. You can choose your own thoughts.

I've struggled with guilt, shame, blame, condemnation, and regrets. I need to forgive myself as God has done. My future has no room in it for my past. I am working on getting my life out of reverse gear.

5. FIGHTING ALL THE BATTLES SYNDROME:

As my husband likes to say, "The horse is dead, Tracey. Get off." I need to choose my battles and not make mountains out of molehills.

Is this really worth my time, effort and energy? Is it major or minor?

Exodus 18:23 says, "You take care of the big things, and leave the small stuff to someone else. If you will do this, and God so commands you, you will be able to endure (the strain) and all these people also will go (to their tents) in peace."

I love this poem....

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair,
85 years old

I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be! God is so good!

1 comment:

mare ball said...

The reverse gear syndrome hangs around my life, and I hate it. I think I get ahead, and then something brings up past mistakes again. It's a daily journey.