Friday, March 18, 2011
SURPRIZED? NOT REALLY, BUT PRAYING!
Richard was on the phone talking to her and all of a sudden his eyes got BIG and he said, "Really?" and he handed the phone to me......
"K" said, "I'm pregnant. I'm keeping this one. It's by the same man."
To be totally honest we kind of expected the, "I'm pregnant again," phone call, but the "I'm keeping it," part we certainly didn't expect since, except for graduating high school, her situation hasn't changed at all....and the..."It's by the same man," part we definitely didn't expect, since she told us she didn't know who the father was.
I've been sorting out my feelings for awhile now....and...I'm angry....I feel like I've been lied to. You told us you didn't know who this man was. She's not in any better a position to raise a child then she was 2 years ago. Richard and I said we would continue our visits and a relationship as long as we felt her life was stable and she was making good decisions, but now I don't know if that is the case.
I decided to call "K's" mother (We'll call her Grandma K.) I wanted to get her perspective on all this and to find out if she knew any details about this guy. We have always had a close connection because of our closeness in age and because Grandma K has never been able to have children either ("K" was adopted too.).
I found out that after our visit at Christmas, which I thought went great, but apparently didn't, "K" was hurt that Sam paid more attention to Grandma K then to her. Grandma K gave Sam a book with wheels and was engaged with him, while "K" didn't talk nor interact with him. At the time, I just took this as her being shy.
Anyway, Grandma K said that soon after this visit, "K" went off birth control and hooked up with Sam's birth dad again out of anger and spite. As Grandma K put it..."Fine, I'll just have a baby of my own and then you'll have to pay attention to me." Grandma K is very upset and hopes that "K" will change her mind about keeping the baby. They find out the sex of the baby in April and she is due in September. Her parents do not feel she has matured any, nor is in any position to take care of a child. She still lives at home and is not working. The guy doesn't want anything to do with "K," the new baby or Samuel, but has said that "if it is proven" that he is the dad then he'll pay child support, but that is all.
I feel very sorry for the entire family. "K" obviously has something missing in her life that she is trying to fill with men....and now she thinks that this baby will get her the attention she so desperately wants. I pray that she will go back to counseling and God will calm her soul and help her make the right decisions for this new little one.
Labels: OUR SON