Thursday, April 29, 2010

REMEMBERING CORY....part 3



First, you can read part one here and part two here.

I had a great group of kids my first year (1990). There were 10 boys and 12 girls. Third graders will do anything for a little praise and some candy or stickers. We were not under "The Assessment Nazis" yet, we still had art and could spend 30 minutes outside watching clouds and call it science. It was a different world then. I was very excited to have my first classroom, but very naive. Cory...I'll admit it...she was my favorite! Cute little brown haired, eight year old. We took to each other right away. She would always sit by me during story time, hold my hand at recess and bring me pretty rocks or dandelions she found on the field.

My first year was going wonderfully well...my little ones came in eager to learn...I was enjoying my new job...and learning tons every day (none of which had they taught me in college), then I was told the counselor would be coming in to do a presentation on "Good Touch, Bad Touch." After this Cory and I would be changed forever and the safe little bubble we thought we lived in would burst.....

The presentation on "Good Touch, Bad Touch" was very informative. The counselor came in and showed a movie and then held a discussion.

The main points:

* It is never your fault
* That no one has a right to touch your body unless your give them permission
* Your private areas are where your bathing suit covers
* If you broke your leg, should your mom, dad or doctor have to look at your private areas....well, no of course not, but if you fell on the middle bar of your bike, really hard, yes that would be appropriate.
* If you tell someone and they don't believe you, keep telling until you find someone who does.

The whole thing, with questions, took about 30 minutes and then we went on with our day.

Later, when I released the kids to lunch recess, Cory came up to me with her head down and started to cry. I sat down with her and without even having to ask she spilled her guts. I thanked God that I had developed such a good relationship with her. Basically, she confessed to me that her dad had been "touching" her at night and that it had been going on for about a year. She said she hadn't told her mom because her dad said it was their "secret game" and she was afraid her mom would be mad with her.

I told her we needed to go talk with the counselor and after I convinced her that I would stay with her and her mom wouldn't be mad with her, she agreed to go. She told her story again to the counselor, and then we called the cops and her mom and she told the story two more times, never letting me leave her side. Her mom was devastated and started to cry, but she held Cory and told her that Dad would never do that again. Cory finally seemed to relax after she saw that Mom was supporting her and that she wasn't mad.

The cops wanted to pick the dad up right away, so Mom took Cory home to pick up a few things and then they were going to spend the weekend (this was a Friday) at Grandma's house (The cops had advised her to find a safe place to stay for a few days.). Mom cried, gave me a hug and thanked me for all that I had done. Cory wanted me to go home with her, but I told her she'd have a fun time at Grandma's and I'd see her on Monday.

I kept it together for the rest of the day, but left immediately after the bell rang, rushed home, cried my eyes out and had a very LARGE and STRONG KAHLUA AND CREAM!

I thought about Cory all weekend and was eager to see her on Monday. Little did I know that Dad was not giving in so easily......

4 comments:

Connie said...

Oh Yikes, Tracey--What a story. I'm afraid to hear what happens next.

KLTTX said...

Uuuggg! You can't leave me hanging like this. I am hoping that it did not turn out like I am afraid that it did.

Melba said...

Wow. And ugh. How horrible. This is something they absolutely DO NOT teach you in college...how to deal with trauma in young children.

Thanks for sharing this story and your experiences, it is invaluable to me as I embark on my own journey into the world of classroom teaching.

Melba

Headless Mom said...

Oh my God Tracey. What an awful, awful thing. Hoping Cory has a happy(er) ending.