Being a new mother I seem to get a lot of advice, which can be helpful, but is also very frustrating when it's from people who are insistent that their way is the BEST way. I also get advice (because I'm an adoptive mother) from those who think that my son is just a stand-in until I get "the real thing." Each week I will post a new question. I'd love it if you'd play along and offer us new mothers your pearls of wisdom.
HERE IS THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
HOW DO YOU KEEP BEDTIME FROM TURNING INTO A FIGHT?
6 comments:
Bedtime for us has never been a fight. But, it's also been nonnegotiable. I think, if your very firm about it, and you teach them early to sleep in their OWN bed and to know how to fall asleep alone, then you won't have an issue. Around 2, they will still try to push the envelope, but if you just put them back in bed and tell them goodnight, they usually get the hint.
We never seem to argue much about bedtime, but we do lay down with the girls, and often pass out with them. How's that for nifty parenting?!
My kids are good about bedtime. I think that if they think it's non-negotiable, it won't be. As soon as you enter a "negotiation" like you can stay up if.... then you've already lost the battle.
:) Just me, AJ
I have never really had much of a problem with bedtime. I have learned that I do need to give my son plenty of time to get ready for bed. So if we want him in bed by 8 30 we start at 8 pm.
Routine, routine, routine has worked for us. Bathtime brush hair, brush teeth, drinks and then read a book time and then lights out.
With our oldest we tried a technique called a free pass...
He always wanted to negotiate something, a drink, a hug, a kiss etc. and we gave him one free pass. He could not come out of his room for anything at all, if he did he had to use his free pass, then that was it for the evening. If he used his free pass for something silly he wouldn't have it for something important.. "does that make sense?" It worked and eventually didn't have to use it anymore.
OK, I'm going to confess here...we have become more of the communal sleepers vs kids sleep alone. We were hard over on kids sleep alone, and we went through the battle of self soothing and had actually "won", but somewhere around the time when they were mobile at night, we drifted into a pattern where kids can come into our bed, or we can go sleep with them in their bed as needed to sooth a nightmare, etc. I'll confess that I'll go snuggle with a kid if Mark is snoring too hard. And the heck of it is...I love it this way. I LOVE having that little body breathing next to me, and this is such a precious little window before that won't be cool on either side. I'm a little sorry that I missed out on this earlier on...time lost.
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