Six years, one week, 9 men and 1 lady

Isn't my new door pretty!?! Who knew that getting a screen door would be such an undertaking. We've lived in our home for 6 years and for every one of those years, I kept saying, "This year I'm going to get a screen door." 

Now I get great cross breezes from the front of the house to the back, but what an undertaking I had to go through to get here.....

GRAB A CUP OF COFFEE, PULL UP A CHAIR AND LISTEN TO MY TALE!!

The "six year" part I can't blame on anyone but my husband and I...procrastinate, finances, economy, hot water heater broke....excuse, excuse, excuse....anyway...now we are here and we decide...THIS IS THE YEAR, BY GOLLY! So, last Wednesday, I go to LOWE'S to find the door I want.

MAN #1 walks we through the ordering procedure...from finding the one I wanted (I already new I didn't want a security door and I wanted something that gave me the option of a window and a screen.)...to walking out the door, it only took about 30 minutes. Not bad. I came in with the measurements, but he tells me that one of their guys has to come out to my house to confirm the measurements. Ok, I understand...not everyone is as handy with a tape measure as me and they want everything to go SMOOTHLY (YAH RIGHT!). I'm also told I can't pay for the door and install at this time and that they will run my card when I set up the install date. So, I pay them $35.00 for this service and I give them my phone number and that night MAN #2 calls to set up a date and time to come by to do these very "technical" measurements.

MAN #2 shows up on Saturday at around 9:30 am...measures length (which I had done,) and measures width (which I had done,), tells we someone will be calling to schedule an install and 10 minutes later leaves....hmmm did that really cost $35.00?

MAN #3 calls Sunday night and leaves a message asking me what color door I wanted....hmmm didn't I already tell them this? I call MAN #3 back on Monday, but find out he works after 6 pm so I have to wait until then and call him again...apparently they only know how to install doors and not take messages. So, at 6 pm I call again and I tell MAN #3 the color I wanted and then he says I now have to come back to the store to pay for the door and install...excuse me....they have my credit card information why can't they do it. "Sorry, ma'am you have to come back to the store for that." Why he didn't tell me this in the message he left Sunday night, I have no idea, but if he had I could have gone there after work on Monday.

So, after work on Tuesday I go back to LOWE'S with my $35.00 recipe, to prove I paid for the "technical" measurements and I head to "customer service."

NOTE: Before I continue, I do need to warn you that I do not deal well with customer service people when I feel they are incompetent. Ok...back to our story....

MAN #4, at customer service, tries to pull up my information on the computer..."Hmmm? How many days ago did you buy this door." I tell him last Thursday..."Oh, well after a week our computer deletes the information. You're going to have to reorder that."

Now, this was said like it was logical that their computers would delete my order and that I was just lax in not getting back to their store in a timely manner. Before I could say anything...

MAN #5 comes up behind him and says, "No, it doesn't. Here, let me find it." Finally, someone who knows what they are talking about...right!?! MAN #5 proceeds to punch keys....more moments pass...quizzical look..."Hmmm, yah, I can't find that order. You'll have to go back to the millworks desk and reorder that." Again, said like this was totally normal.

NOTE: Before I continue, I need to say that I have been working on not blowing my top with customer service people...but I haven't got to the "being as sweet as honey" part yet...it's a work in progress....ok, back to our story.

At this point I take a deep breath and say...."I need to talk to a manager."

MAN #6 (MANAGER) comes over and I say, "Before we begin I need to tell you a little story...."

.....holding up my fingers, I count MEN #1, #2, #3, #4, #5 #6...as I tell him the story I just told you and then I say...."Does it seem odd to you that it has taken 6 men, so far and I still don't have my door?" He then says, "I am very sorry ma'am. Let me walk you back to millworks so we can order your door." So I follow MAN #6 back to millworks.

We approach the desk and I say, "Hi, MAN #7, can you help me order my door?" (I probably looked a little strange since I'm still holding up my fingers keeping track now of all the men I have to speak with before this process is over.) MAN # 6 (MANAGER) smirks and MAN #7 looks confused. MAN #6 talks to MAN #7.

MAN #7 says, "There are only 2 of us here. I don't want to do it wrong so let me call someone who can help you."

MAN #8 comes over (My eighth finger goes up.) and then Thursday repeats itself, where I originally show them the door I want, like I did with MAN #1. I do tell them that MAN #2 will NOT be returning to my house to take the "technical" measurements. I give them the measurements and I see MAN #6 (MANAGER) and MAN #8 exchange looks. I think MAN #6 knows better then to press his luck, so we move on.

MAN #8 pulls up the door information on his computer (the one that lost my information) and his eyebrows wrinkle (NOT A GOOD SIGN.). MAN #8 calls over MAN #9 (My ninth finger goes up.).

MAN #9 looks at the computer....eyebrows wrinkle...and gets on the phone....(Since I didn't see this man I won't say this was MAN #10....we'll just move on...).

MAN #8, and MAN #9 (and person on phone) converse for awhile...."Go to screen #2, oh look....there's her order."

ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS!!!!!!!!!

MAN #9 smiles expecting me to also....I DON'T.

LADY #1 approaches from behind MAN #9 with a stack of papers in her hands...."These were in the printer. I'll do the rest." MAN # 6, MAN #8 and MAN #9 disappear.

I explain to LADY #1 that I have spoken to 9 MEN and because of all the hassle I will not be back to LOWE'S.

LADY #1 apologises and then talks me through the paperwork and explains that someone will be calling tonight to set up an install date and time and if I have any problems (Apparently, not counting the ones I have already had....) to call her.

I then go to the checkout, pay for the door and install and leave.

MAN #2 calls that night and we plan for him to come out on Thursday at 3:30, for the install.

MAN #2, indeed, shows up Thursday at 3:30 and VOILA, I now have a screen door.