Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Poop Story

I was inspired to write our family "story" because Darcie told hers.

WARNING: This is one of those stories where your mother cringes and your brothers laugh. Actually, at this point, John may kill me, but if you have a blog, you know, just about, anything is fair game for posting. Poop and a toaster are involved. If you are easily offended, don't read've been warned...

My two brothers, Mark and John, are only 18 months apart in age. As young boys they had a paper route. On Sunday they would go around to collect, the money for the papers, from their customers.

One day, John stopped at a particular house and knocked on the door and a teenager answered the door. John was younger then this boy and the teenager was rude to him, told him to go away, that his parents weren't there and they wouldn't pay him anyway. Well, my brother was both scared of this boy and mad because if he didn't get the money, it would come out of his own pocket.

John thought the teenager was lying about his parents not being around and decided to hide in the bushes for awhile to see if the teenager would leave. Then he could go back, knock again and try to talk to an adult.

Well, after waiting for a 1/2 hour in the bushes and thinking about how he had been treated, he got madder and madder. So, by the time the boy left, John, was fuming. He went back to the door and knocked, but no one answered. Now, you've got to understand, living in a small town, doors were rarely locked. John opened the door, peaked in the kitchen and called out, hoping someone would be there. No one was around and no one answered when he called out...

...but John was still mad that this money was going to have to come out of his own pocket. He saw a toaster on the counter idea popped into his mind. Quickly, he hopped up onto the counter....pulled down his pants....wait for it.....squatted over the toaster and POOPED!

But wait...there is more.......YES, MORE.....he pulled up his pants and before leaving.......wait for it.......pushed the button down on the toaster.

Take that! He didn't get his money.......but, boy, did that feel good!


Amy said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Note to self: Always pay the paper boy. On time.;)

Jill said...

Is it revenge or laughter that is the best medicine??? LOL!
I amm guessing this isn't one of the family stories that waa shared with the social worker..haha!!
(Glad he isn't my brother...I'd always be looking over my shoulder! LOL!)

Darcie said...

No. Freakin. Way.

I've heard my fair share of poop stories but this one? This one is worth toasting to. Toasting to. Get it?! I crack myself up.

Kris said...

What would cause you to come up with this idea???? I would never had thought of that!!! Is that good or bad? uuummm....