Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Money won't buy you love....

Have you ever seen the POSH TOTS site? I order from them never all the time! All of us over indulgent good mothers do.

Doesn't eveyone have this bedding? It's only $1100.00

Of course you've bought your baby this instead of a college education. It's only $23,400.00.

What about this diaper bag for just $162.00.

I know some people actually buy from this magazine, because it's been on line since 2001 and according to this site they made $7 million in 2005 alone.

We interrupt this post for a slight rant....

All I think about is the money that has been wasted on cribs the child will never remember, clothes they grew out of the day after they wore them and play houses that they can no longer use because they're too tall. These are probably the same people that work 70 hours a week, have a garden party or charity event every other night and only see their children when it's "convenient" for them and fits into their schedule....oops this rant is for another post...

Getting back to my point...

When we started this adoption process I began looking at how we would decorate the room, educational toys to buy and what other "gear" we needed. Boy, was I shocked by all that's out there. I was really surprised by what "they say" you need, in comparison to what you "actually" need.

I made a list and first focused on the must haves...crib, dresser, rocking chair, car seat, blankets, etc...and with this, my husband and I wanted to get what could potentially be converted (crib to toddler bed) and what would last (solid wood dresser) for many years.

The other stuff (clothes, toys, etc...), I've slowly accumulated by going to yard sales, consignment shops, sales and put on a list for the baby shower.

We have never been into "brand names" and in buying for Sam there have been no exceptions. I don't care what brand name is on the thing, as long as it's safe, in good condition and will serve my needs. I have always been more impressed by how much you save (or didn't spend) then the band name of and how expensive your new "whachamacallit" is.

I won't spend a lot on a high chair, but I will on a car seat.

I won't spend a lot on infant clothes, but I will on healthy formula.

Be real...decorating the nursery has been for me...not Sam. He's only going to be concerned about eating, staying warm, having a clean butt and my husband and I cuddling, playing and loving him.

Sam will learn from day one that money does not grow on trees, instant gratification is a pipe dream, learning is fun and we love him with all our hearts.

In my opinion...


Debbie B said...

I'm with you. We buy generic formula because it's the same as the name brand for $10-15 less. I did research for toys that would grow with her different stages. As well as a car seat and got that one on sale with a coupon.

I also enjoy shopping at second hand stores. And I think that's completely fine. We did when I was young as well. I still remember trips to Salvation Army.

Trace said...

Sort of like when you look at the recommended wedding list, you DON'T need that much for a new baby.

We have a convertible crib/toddler bed/twin bed in white and I'm going to use the bedroom furniture I had when I was a child (teak wood and a simple classic design). We're not even doing any out of control decorating. Our nursey is a nice beigey color w/bright white molding and hard wood floors.

Ask your friends. Get toy trades going. Be careful about last years cribs and such because you need to find out about any recalls. Hand me down clothes from friends and relatives.

Annie said...

Really, a $23,000 play house. I am upset that the Little Tikes kitchens are nicer than most of the kitchens I've had.

I've been cited on several occassions by CPS for not having enough toys. Really? Three boxes of toys for each kid isn't enough, along with a full backyard of outdoor toys and playground equipment. It urks me that unless you have X, whether it's a brand or a number, you aren't providing. So much for teaching them priorities, and taking care of their things. My kids know if they smash their truck or rip their books they'll do without for awhile. How would that be possible with four rooms full of toys?

I'd be really obsessive about a kid spitting up or pooping on $1100 sheets, then they'd have issues and I'd have to send them to therapy.

Darcie said...

I was surprised you didn't point out how likely it is that a child would be wearing the dress that the little girl in that crib photo is wearing.

The Mom said...

Oh I hear you!

Pottery Barn Kids catalogs would come too often and I can shop at Walmart and Target for thing 1/10th the price!

Let's be realistic and teach our kids about what is most important, love, respect, and responsibility...and the value of a dollar!!

Amy said...

All very good points...And at Christmas, no matter what you get babies, they prefer the box that it came in to the toy...and the ribbon that was wrapped around the present...They love ribbons.;)

Not to mention the "Tupperware" drawer or cabinet...You can never have enough plastic ware for them to rummage through...That provides hours of fun.:)

Kris said...

Doesn't it just make your stomach sick? My girlfriend is VERY MUCH into name brands and store names...I can't tell you how many times she'd say she got "such a great deal" at Nordstroms...excuse me? But 25% off "way too expensive" is NOT a good deal! In fact, she's the one that wanted the Coach diaper bag...price $425! yep, you read that right! She did say she couldn't bring herself to spend that much money. But next thing I know, she has it! Said it was "on sale", she had a gift card for part of it...and it was at the outlet. Even taking these things into consideration, she spent AT LEAST $250, probably more like $300. I can't EVEN fathom! I'd be afraid to use it for fear it would get yucky (and believe me, yucky things have gone into my $30 diaper bag from BRU--bought with a gift card!).

I have bought VERY few clothes for my Megan. Everything has been clothes we got at the showers or hand-me downs from my girlfriend. I will admit, though, that most of the hand me downs I have are very worn (already gone through 3 girls), and I like Megan to look nice. She there aren't too many that we've worn. But I'm not afraid of used clothes, in good condition.

Sheila said...

Hi Tracey!

I didn't even buy my kids Christmas and birthday presents until they were 4.

I didn't mean to be mean, but they were getting lots from grandparents, and quite honestly, they didn't need anything. Even now, we don't do a ton of gifts. Life is too much about money, and then you start to value the wrong things.

I'm glad you're starting off on the right foot!

Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

L L said...

I learned my lesson on buying expensive clothes with my first niece. Never again.They grow out of them too quickly. It will be Target, Wal-Mart and second hand stores and if I do shop at some of the major department stores it will only be if a major sale is involved. Now I have found some great deals on diaper bags and what not at Tj Maxx and Marshalls. I also plan on hitting up friends for their baby stuff that they no longer have a need for...except for the car seat, that I will most likely buy new.

Megan said...

What gets me is the over the top, elaborate first birthday parties! They won't remember them and if you want them to look at the pictures and be impressed there's photoshop for a reason!

Annie said...

I went to a party for a three year old that HAD to have cost $400 - there were people showing up with gift bags that cost more than my gift. Guesss I was invited to the wrong party.

Michelle Smiles said...

Happy Birthday!

I've often found myself whispering to one of my daughters that she will never understand how much she is loved until she has a child of her own some day. And I still wonder at the fact that my mom feels that same way about me (and cringe when I think of some of the epic battles that the teen years brought). Birthdays should be mom days too! So happy mom day to your momma.

Michele said...

I'm with you! We didn't overspend at all on either of the boys. There are lots of places to get some great deals, like Ebay and Craig's list, consignment shops and thrift stores. Justin loved his exersaucer. I bought it used from Ebay. Kaden on the other hand hated his (we had sold Justin's not knowing we would adopt again) and I am glad I only spent $10 on his at the thirft store. For Justin we had a high chair given to us. I hated it because it was so big. For Kaden I didn't bother with the high chair. We bought a booster seat that went from reclining to a toddler seat that attached to a chair and saved me precious kitchen space.
We also skipped the infant car seat and went with a convertible car seat that could be used from infancy on. We didn't bother with the diaper genie and those cartridges of bags you always had to buy. I found a diaper champ at the consignment shop that used regular plastic bags.
A great book to pick up is Baby Bargins (get the most recent edition-or better yet borrow it from your library) by Denise and Allen Fields. It was a great book in helping us decide what was really necessary and what was just a waste of time. For us no changing table. We always changed the boys on the floor bed, crib sofa. There is so much you really don't need or will never use.
Happy shopping! :)