MAKING CHILDREN MIND...Chapter #4

Welcome back to our discussion of the book, MAKING CHILDREN MIND WITHOUT LOSING YOURS by Dr. Kevin Leman. I would love to read all your thoughts, opinions and comments. My comments will be in green.

Chapter 4: Why Reward and Punishment Don't Work
"...where do the discipline problems start? They start at home, where Mom and Dad have already given up and allowed little Festus to rule the roost...it's preferable that the motivation come from within, and I do not mean from within the pocketbook....in danger of creating 'carrot seekers' who are always looking for a reward every time they do something right, good, or noteworthy in life."

Ask any teacher and they can tell you this. Every year I have parents try to convince me that they've NEVER had any problems with their child and that it's the school that is causing these issues.

"Training up a child means putting time and energy into teaching the child acceptable behavior in any number of social situations.

That's one of the main problems I see with parents today. They don't want to put in the time and energy. They expect their children to grow up right without having to sacrifice anything on their part.

"...each child in the family get a different amount of money for his allowance. Age is as good a criterion as any on which to base the amount of an allowance, and it is logical that the older the child, the more this allowance should be...should come to each child on a particular day...should be able to spend as he or she sees fit...and he will learn some things the hard way...to not make the allowance equivalent to 'pay' for doing chores...when child wants to put some of her allowance in the bank, I match that money dollar for dollar...let reality be the teacher and disciplinarian...when a child doesn't do his chores by the predetermined time...hire...little sister....Little sister gets part of his...allowance for her trouble....paid money back into the family budget to have someone else take care of his responsibility."

What a great idea. I never got allowance and my mother just nagged and complained when I didn't do my chores. I think this way the responsibility goes back on the child and they see how reality works. You don't do your job, you don't get paid.

I wish parents took their jobs more seriously. I wish they realized that how they raise their children or choose not to raise their children is getting them ready or not ready for real life.