Friday, May 9, 2008

WHEN GOD CREATED MOTHERS


When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into his 6th day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on thsi order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; have 180 movable parts...all replacable; run on black coffee and leftovers; have a lap that disappears when she stands up; a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair; and six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way!"

"It's not the hands that are causing the problems," said the Lord. "It's the three pairs of eyes that mothes have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she says, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another, here in the back of her head, that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, 'I understand and I love you,' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve gentle. "Go to bed. Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger and can get a nine-year old to stand in the shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?" asked the angel.

"Not only thinkt, but it can reason and compromise," said the Lord.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You, You were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel.

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

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