WORDLESS WEDNESDAY #1

"Icky kisses! Uncle Richard's face is too scratchy!"

Check out 5 minutes for mom for more entries.

SOME DAYS I JUST LET MYSELF CRY!

Now that we are adopting, the times that I just need to vent all my frustrations are becoming few and far between, but today is one of those days. If anyone else says to me, "just adopt and you'll get pregnent," or "have you tried such and such...," or "just move on with your life,"... I think I'll SCREAM! This year there are SIX women pregnant at the school where I work. I've only been able to attend one shower. Sometimes it's just too painful. I know now that God is leading me to adopt, but that doesn't mean not being physically pregnant is any easier.

I have to keep my mouth shut when I hear, "My back hurts," or "I didn't sleep at all last night," or "It took us 2 months to get pregnant." What I wouldn't give to have my back hurt, lose sleep and actually BE pregnant. Some people don't know how blessed they are.

Then there are student's parents who complain that they don't have time for themselves anymore or they say they don't know what to do when their child misbehaves and they throw their hands up. How can they give up on their own child?

I have been trying off and on, since I was 25 (I'm 40 now.), to get pregnant. I have taken Clomid, used ovulation kits, taken my temperature daily, given myself injections in the stomach and had three AI's. I still get angry with God sometimes too. Why me? He does know what is best, but it still hurts. My mother has had 8 children (Me, her last at age 45.) and my siblings have a total of 16. Why am I the only one who can't get pregnant? I know this is an exaggeration, but it sure feels that way.

Wahh, Wahh, Wahh...ok, I'm done feeling sorry for myself. Maybe, tomorrow will be better.

This is my first Tackle It Tuesday. I need to take the pictures closer next time. I'm usually a very organized person, but my husband is not. He tends to take stuff out and not put it back. I am constantly going through drawers and closets and reorganizing them or I'll never find anything.

This is a shelf in our garage where I have extra toilet paper and paper towels, gardening stuff, tools and light bulbs. This is what is did look like.


This is what it looks like now.


Yay for me! I feel so good when things are organized. Go to 5 minute mom's for more help. Their site is great!

Mediterranean Salmon

I was asked to post the recipe for Mediterranean Salmon, so here it is. I got it from all recipes.

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
4 cloves garlic, pressed
4 (3 ounce) fillets salmon
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic salt

DIRECTIONS:

Mix together the olive oil and balsamic vinegar in a small bowl. Arrange the salmon fillets in a shallow baking dish. Rub garlic onto the fillets, then pour the vinegar and oil over them, turning once to coat. Season with cilantro, basil, and garlic salt. Set aside to marinate for 10 minutes.

Preheat your oven's broiler.

Place the salmon about 6 inches from the heat source, and broil for 15 minutes, turning once, or until browned on both sides and easily flaked with a fork. Brush occasionally with the sauce from the pan.

Enjoy!!

The Stuffed Peppers and the Sausage and Peppers Stir Fry were both good, but by mid-week we needed to eat the leftovers and then my husband had to work late so the baked chicken, glazed pork chops and tacos were never made. We'll try those again this week! I used the left over sausage from last week and made this spinich and feta salad for Saturday. It was great! Here's a picture of it.



This weeks meals:

* Mediterranian Salmon, Rice and Corn
* Nachos with Black Beans and Sour Cream
* Baked Chicken with Spaghetti Squash
* Glazed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatoes and Beans
* Tacos and Salad

For more menu ideas, check on orgjunkie.com. There are wonderful recipes, give aways and much, much more. I love this site.

My Baby Quilt

I've been making quilts for quite a few years now. My mother and I made a king size one about 15 years ago, but that was from scratch. Cutting all those squares took forever and then pinning, sewing and then having to tie the whole thing. It took a few months to finish. I love it to this day, but I knew there had to be an easier way. Well, I found it. A couple years ago I wanted to try quilting again, but I didn't want it to take so much time. I went to the cloth store and started looking around. Then I found cotton that was already in a quilted pattern. LIGHT BULB!!

I bought:
* 2 and 1/2 yards of the quilted pattern
* 2 and 1/2 yards of a matching fleece color
* a bag of batting
* matching DMC floss (to tie with)

I came home and in 3 hours I finished my quilt! The one pictured above is the latest one I've done. It's in the nursery waiting for our new baby that we are adopting.

FLYLADY IS GREAT

If you haven't found FLYLADY yet, I highly recommend you check her out.

She has a great system for getting control of chaos and organizing your home and life. She gives you step by step directions on how to build your own control journal. She has a shop, lessons, and lots of helpful hints. FlyLady has been a saving grace to me.

You can even do this if you are a working couple. Our reality is as follows:

I get up at 5 am and I am out the door by 6 am. I get home around 3:30 pm, Monday through Friday. I teach at a year round school so I have a strange vacation schedule. I work the same amount of days as a teacher on a traditional schedule, but I get off 3 weeks in March and November, 6 weeks in the summer, two weeks at Christmas and all the Monday holidays.


My husband is a straight commission salesman (meaning if he doesn't sell a car, he doesn't get paid) and his schedule is all over the place. Sometimes he works 8 am to 6 pm. Sometimes he works 10 am to 8 pm, but every month it is different. Also, if he is selling someone a car at 6pm and he's suppose to go home, he can't, so that throws things off too. He has every other Sunday off and one day during the week.

We have little time together and when we do, I don't want to be cleaning. I was feeling guilty, thinking that I wasn't a good wife because my house wasn't spotless. That's when I stumbled upon this site a few months ago. FlyLady is very appealing to my "A" personality, list making, highly organized self. I soon realized that I could adapt her ideas to fit my lifestyle. So, I put together my own control journal. My sections are: PRAYER, FINANCES, CLEANING, FOOD, SCHEDULES, EMERGENCY and HINTS.

In my HINTS section I keep helpful articals that I had found, such as: a list of all the thrift and consignment stores that I like to got to, the fly lady cleaning zone 1-5 list that I found on the bottom of the page and was able to download and use as a reference to design my own and extra copies of a blank monthly calendar that I use for menu planning.

In my EMERGENCY section I keep a list of emergency phone numbers. I plan on adding a list of everyone's email addresses (in case the computer crashes). I am (slowly) getting together a list of all the addresses and phone numbers for family members, doctors, insurance companies (etc.) and other companies that I pay bills too, so that they are all in one place. You have to plan for the future and heaven forbid if something were to happen to me and my family had no idea how to handle our affairs. I wouldn't want to put them in that position, so why not get things in order while you have the chance.

In the PRAYER section I have my daily prayer list. Normally I use a journal as my prayer journal, but I am in a six week Bible study at my church right now called, "When God's People Pray." The study book was written by Jim Cymbala. So, I am writing in this study book instead. I also keep a personnal journal, which I have done since I was twelve years old. I'll talk about keeping a personnal journal in the future.

The next section is FINANCES. First, I want to encourage you to check out my post entitled NOTHINGS SACRED IN SAVING MONEY!.

Second, improve your credit. We only have one credit card, CAPITAL ONE, which we use for everything and we pay it off each month. We use this because we get reward points. I'm going to the east coast this summer and my $580.00 ticket cost us nothing, because of all the points we have. If you carry a balance on any of your cards, STOP SPENDING ON THEM and pay them off as soon as possible. Credit cards are not free money. If there is a big ticket item you want, save for it. Third, get out of debt. You need to know how much you owe and then make a plan to pay it off. My husband and I have NO CREDIT CARD DEBT. You can pay one card off at at time, starting with the card that has the highest interest rate. Lastly, We have a budget and we pay our bills directly. We still get the bill in the mail and see the transaction on our bank statement so I account for it in my checkbook register when I know the bill is due.

The SCHEDULES section comes next. Follow the directions on FLYLADY and she will show you how to set up task lists and routines that keep your house from falling apart and make you feel successful everyday. I made my weekly task list so that a months worth fit on one page.

CLEANING is the next section. Again, follow what FLYLADY tells you and this too will be organized and nonstressful in no time.

In the FOOD section I keep my blank calendar, freezer list and a generic menu list. I plan a weeks menu's on my calendar and I check my freezer list and menu list to help me. I keep all of my recipes in a recipe box, but some people keep them in this section.

So take a break, grab a cup of tea, put your feet up and take one step at a time. I encourage you to visit the sites on my FAVORITE LINKS, especially FLYLADY, and to put together a control journal that fits your life and makes your house feel like a home.

PS. As I was finishing this post I found that FLYLADY site has a special section for working women that she will leave up until June. I haven't gone through the material yet, but I'm sure there will be some great hints. Check it out!

MY PICTURE OF MOTHERHOOD

This is my 85 years old mother, Fran. Look at that smile, doesn't she look great! She is my picture of motherhood.

She and my father have been married for 62 years. You don't hear of marriages lasting 15 years, let alone 4 times that.






I am not a mom yet myself (I am adopting.), but if I am a tenth the mother she is, that will be a major accomplishment. She has taught us about faithfulness, honesty, kindness, good cooking, perseverance, selflessness and sticking together through thick and thin. She never once put herself before any of her children. We were always her first priority. All eight of us have graduated from college and gone on to have very successful and happy lives.

This is my mom reading to one of her 16 grandchildren. She also has 4 great-grandchildren (with one more on the way).





She still plays ping-pong everyday, attends a regular Bible study, plays bridge and bingo twice a week, loves to yard sale, is a x-stitch addict and has a wonderful laugh. She is a human dinamo! She is an amazing woman and I love her!!



If you are an amazing mother or have an amazing mother, there is a photo contest at 5 Minutes for Mom. You could win $1000 for your photo that tells the story of what motherhood is for you.

A Baby's Prayer

Thank you TRAINING TONS OF SONS! I was doing my daily blog rounds and found this poem. We are adopting and it made me cry! I had to share it!



A Baby's Prayer

A baby asked God, ‘They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?’ God said, ‘Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.’

The child further inquired, ‘But tell me, here in heaven I don’t have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.’ God said, ‘Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel’s love and be very happy.’

Again the child asked, ‘And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don’t know the language?’ God said, ‘Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.’

‘And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?’ God said, ‘Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.’ ‘Who will protect me?’ God said, ‘Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.’

‘But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.’ God said, ‘Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.’

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, ‘God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.’God said, ‘You will simply call her, ‘Mom.’

The Mountain of Adoption Paper Work

Richard and I are now plowing though the mountain of paper work required to proceed in the adoption process.

We have already had our fingerprint cards done for our crimal records check through the FBI and the NM state police, but the check itself takes 6-8 weeks to come back. We have filled out and had notarized the Pre-placement Study Agreement, Release of Information and Affirmation Form, Affidavit of Disclosure, Child Abuse Screen Form and Fee Agreement Contract. We have verified our employment, copied our 1040 and W2's, completed the Financial Profile Form, made copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, and my divorce decree, completed the Child Description Form, the Openness and Ethnic Issues Form, verified our pets vaccinations, filled out the Adoptive Family Profile, made a Fire Exit Plan and completed the Guardianship Care Plan. I have completed my autobiography, but Richard is still working on his.

Tomorrow he is going down to the court house to get our Local Police Records released so we can prove we don't have one. Yah, that's a fun one...having to prove a negative.

We still have to have our medical histories completed by our doctor, which includes laboratory findings for a urinalysis, tuberculin skin test, blood count, serology and HIV test.

We are also in the process of doing a home safety checklist, which includes: making sure all smoke detectors work, having 2 fire extinguishers (one in the house and one in the garage), installing outlet covers and child proof latches, posting our emergency numbers and the fire exit plan, buying locks for our outside gate and putting all chemicals, cleaners and medicines under lock and key.

Then we can do the fun part, which is putting together a letter to the birthmom and an album of our family, that will be shared with the potential birthmothers.

Next, we go through individual and couple interviews and a home visit.

After that we wait to be matched and find an attorney.

At this point the process could go real FAST or real SLOW. There's no telling. We've been told that we have a lot of things going for us that make us great prospects. The fact that my husband is adopted, I'm a teacher, we're Christian, we haven't been able to conceive on our own, we have pets and have very involved and supportive families, should make us very "sellable."

Once a birthmother chooses us, we can meet the mother if we choose. We want this to be an open adoption, but meeting the birthmother is not something we are comfortable with. We are going to exchange letters and pictures (about 3 a year). Once she delivers we can take the baby home.

Then the 48 hour hold starts. The birthmother has 48 hours to change her mind or to relinquish her rights. If everything goes well, we become the child's guardians and the attorneys will file the petition to adopt papers with the courts. The minimum wait on this is 90 days, in which time we have a few more visits with the adoption agency and Children, Youth and Families Department, to be sure everything is going well. Usually though this part can take 4 to 6 months.


Finally, we will go to court before a district court judge, he will sign the adoption decree and issue us a new birth certificate with our names as the legal parents.



We are very excited, scared, nervous and anxious! At least we feel like we are moving forward now, however slowly. We are also in the process of decorating the nursery. I've painted, bought the main pieces of furniture and I'm enjoying looking for baby stuff at yard sales on the weekends.

God has a certain little boy (Samuel) or girl (Sara) planned for us, we just have to wait for that perfect time and only God knows that. "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." Jeremiah 1:5


We'd appreciate any advice or prayers you can send our way.

How to Cope with Stress

Imagine you lived ten-thousand years ago and were threatened by a saber-toothed tiger. You would have to be able to react instantly, either by or running away. This is how stress helped you. Today, all the saber-tooths are gone, but we still have stress.




Two-thirds of all visits to doctors are for stress-related problems like: fatigue, digestive upsets, headaches, back pain, colds, infection and increased blood pressure which can lead to stroke or heart attack.




Let's face it! We all have stress, but it's what we do about it that makes the difference. Finding way to reduce your stress is the key. Humor is important to release muscle tension and helps us maintain perspective in our life.



Meditation reduces heart rate, blood pressure and adrenaline levels. There is a saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff, it is all small stuff." The proper perspective helps us to understand that our stress is not unique and it cannot defeat us without our pemission.


Prayer for stress relief works also. It is communicating with God. Prayer changes the one doing the praying. It brings an understanding of our need for His grace. There is nothing in our lives that God doesn't know. So, we can be honest with ourselves and with Him. God has a clear understanding of who we are and He loves us anyway. Situations that cause stress in our life may not change instantly, but our attitude will make our life different.

SHAME! SHAME ON ALL OF US! (Disposable Children)

I would like to have this image in my head of what a child looks like while in the foster care system, but the reality is far, far different. When the courts remove a child from their parents it's usually due to abuse or neglect. When a relative can't be found for them to live with, the child enters a foster home. The ultimate goal is reunification with parents.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY ANYWAY!

Due to their treatment, children often enter the foster care system with medical, behavioral, and emotional problems. Children removed from their homes feel isolated and depressed. Foster children are more likely to do poorly in school, have behavior, physical and mental problems. They are also at risk for drug and alcohol use, and delinquency.

SO, WHAT IF THE HOME THEY GO TO IS NO BETTER THEN THE ONE THEY LEFT? WHAT IF THEY ARE FORGOTTEN AND LANGUISH IN FOSTER CARE AND ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO REUNITE WITH THEIR FAMILY OR GET ADOPTED!

The challenge is especially hard for those at age 18 who get pushed out of the system. While some may lead successful lives, others face a risk of homelessness, substance abuse, emotional problems, involvement with the legal system, lower educational levels and lower paying jobs. Some challenges are from the lack of a support system to aid in the transition to adulthood.

HOW DO WE EXPECT THEM TO BECOME PRODUCTIVE ADULTS, WHEN WE DIDN'T PROTECT THEM AND NURTURE THEM AS CHILDREN?

It's appalling to me that 54% of the children in foster care spend from 18 months to 5 or more years in limbo, away from their birth families and not being adopted by anyone. My husband and I were interested in adopting and tried to through our local foster care agency, but after working with them for a year we were no closer to adopting then the day we started.

They give these messed up "parents" a YEAR, each time they screw up, to get their acts together. To me that is a major disservice to all children. Why should the children have to suffer because their parents don't want to be parents. I don't want to hear about how they made a mistake, boo hoo, poor me....give me a break...if you loved your children that much, you would get your act together and fly right, to keep them. And if you can't, then do the mature, loving, unselfish thing of signing over your parental rights so that someone who does want to be a parent can give them a proper home and make them feel loved and wanted.

I bet most people would be amazed by what it takes to become a foster parent.

* 21 years or older, but not older then 65
* have room for a child in their home
* have the financial resources to provide for their own family.
* provide a home that meets certain safety standards
* be in good physical and mental health
* Request an information packet on becoming a foster parent.
* Attend an orientation session organized by the local foster care agency.
* Fill out a foster parenting application.
* Begin a home study. The home study includes visits to your actual home, for various safety inspections, as well as fairly extensive background checks into you and your family. The agency will fingerprint everybody in your home over 12 years old and check their criminal record. This process can take several months, and it requires a lot of work from you and your family.
* While the home study is in progress, you will enroll in a foster care training course taught by the local foster care agency. In this 30-hour, 10-week course, instructors cover a range of issues, focusing on good parenting, dealing with children with special needs and working with the foster care agency.
* If the home study goes well and you successfully complete the training program, you will become a certified foster parent.

HERE'S A CRAZY IDEA...HOW ABOUT WE REQUIRE THESE SAME THINGS TO BECOME A PARENT?!

I also found this article, about how messed up the child welfare system is. Here are just a few statistics from that article:

* incorrect addresses listed in the official record for 20 percent of the foster children in its care
* Five percent of the children were listed as living at the headquarters, even though more than half of those children had been in foster care for more than two years.
* 84 children may never have been recorded at all
* 1,103 children were discharged from foster care, but their records did not reflect this action
* Auditors found children's case files lying on floors and in unlabeled and haphazardly arranged cartons
* one agency lost track of fully 25 percent of the children in its care
* court backlogs leave children's lives dangling from childhood to adolescence
* many children are placed in "marginal homes" only slightly better than those from which they were removed
* foster parents not receiving vital information about the children they accepted, often resulting in less than adequate care

How about his case?! In Missouri, pediatrician Dr. Susan Pittman became a foster mother to two young sisters, and had been told virtually nothing about the children's past when they were assigned to her. Hers was their second foster home, and they had been assigned five different social workers in the 17 months they were in the system. Only one of them had ever visited her home, despite state rules requiring monthly visits. "I could be killing these children, for all the state knows," she said. "The system has lost its focus, to do what is best for the kids. All it seems to want to do is get a kid into a foster home, no matter whether it's a good home for that particular child, and then forget about him."

These are just a few lines from this article. The rest is even more unimaginable.

REFORMING THIS SYSTEM SHOULD BE PART OF THE NO-CHILD LEFT BEHIND ACT! HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO CONTINUE TO ALLOW OUR CHILDREN TO BE FORGOTTEN, MISTREATED AND RAISED WITHOUT MORALS? WHY ARE WE THEN SURPRIZED WHEN YEARS LATER THEY SHOW UP IN OUR JAILS!? I'M SURPRIZED THEY SURVIVE AT ALL!

SHAME! SHAME ON ALL OF US!

This is my first Menu Plan Monday post. I've been planning out an entire month in advace and then shopping each Saturday, but I think I'm going to change that and do my menu planning on Friday night just for the following week.

My Menu for this week is:

* Stuffed Peppers and Salad
* Sausage and Peppers Stif Fry
* Baked Chicken with Rice and Squash
* Glazed Pork Chops with Brown Rice and Corn
* Tacos and Salad
* Mediterranian Salmon, Mashed Potatoes and Beans

For more menu ideas, check on orgjunkie.com. There are wonderful recipes, give aways and much, much more. I love this site.