NOT AN ACTUAL JOB

I read this opinion the other day on FACEBOOK, from a site called BOLDE, entitled OPINION: BEING A STAY-AT-HOME-MOM MAY BE DIFFICULT BUT IT ISN'T AN ACTUAL JOB. 

First, we have to stop comparing one mom to another. As one commenter said so well, "Please stop posting articles that pit women against each other. All moms are moms. Work at home, stay at home work outside of the home, work FT, work PT it’s all a choice. How about we just support each other and respect that we are all doing what moms do, making the best choices for our children. Let’s stop judging and start respecting!" --- Linda Desarro

The author's premiss is that it's not an actual job because: it doesn't match the dictionary definition of job, it's not a paid position, working mom's have to do the same things as SAHM's, looking after a house doesn't make you a "professional," there's no office politics, SAHM's don't have to answer to anyone, SAHM's get a gift from it and it's a choice.

Let's take one argument at a time.

(1) She says, IT’S LITERALLY NOT A JOB. By definition, a job is “a paid position of regular employment.” Last time I checked, SAHMs don’t get paid for what they do. They also don’t get sick days, paid time off, or a 401k. If you define this as your job, you need to have a serious conversation with your employer because you’re not being fairly compensated.

She's right that we are not compensated "financially," but there are many jobs where the employees feel they are not compensated fairly and they are still called jobs.

(2) She says, WORKING MOMS DO THE SAME THINGS… ON TOP OF AN ACTUAL JOB.
Think about the million things SAHMs have to do each day. Working moms have to do them too—in addition to a 40-hour work week. I still get my daughter ready for school, clean the house, and I pick up the same 500 toys that get left everywhere. I help her with her homework, take her to dance class and soccer practice, clean the bathrooms and cook dinner—and I have eight hours less than SAHMs to do it in.

She's right that working mom's do everything SAHM's do, but with 8 hours less since they are at their 40 hour a week job, but I got news for you. I work many more than 40 hours a week.

(3) She says, LOOKING AFTER THE HOUSE JUST MAKES YOU AN ADULT, NOT A PROFESSIONAL. Whether you have kids or not, basically every adult has to do at least half the things SAHMs do every day. Sure, they may not have to watch Thomas the Tank Engine on repeat for hours each day and they probably haven’t wiped anyone’s butt recently, but they still have to do the same tasks as being a functional, responsible adult.

Many of my jobs are what all adults do, yes, but there are also many jobs that people are paid for and I wouldn't call them "professional" either.

(4) She says, SAHMS DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH OFFICE POLITICS.
When was the last time a SAHM stayed late at “work” because they thought if they did, their “boss” would notice and it might get them that promotion they’ve been hoping for? In our jobs, we’re constantly seeking ways to climb the ladder, make more money, and get more respect. SAHMs never have to worry about that because there’s no real competition.

I'm always at work late. Mine is a 24/7 job. No "office politics" and "no competition"...really? There are many mom's who compete every day to have the best clothes, best schools and best toys on the block. Life is a competition.

(5) She says, IT DOESN’T REQUIRE A DEGREE. Most jobs these days require some form of secondary education, trade school, or bachelor’s degree; motherhood doesn’t. I’m not saying it isn’t hard because it absolutely is, but you don’t have to understand the quantum theory, know how to set a broken arm, or be proficient in Excel in order to raise a child.

God knows it should require a degree. There are so many mom's and dad's raising kids these days, that should have had their respective tubes cut/tied before they even entered puberty. I may not understand quantum theory or know how to set an arm, but not all "jobs" require a degree or trade school, to be good, respectable jobs.

(6) She says, SAHMS DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYONE. OK, I might be a little off on this one because the demands of young children are just as stressful as the demand of a nagging boss. However, when your child acts up, you can send them to their room or take away their iPhone. It wouldn’t go over so well if I told my boss to pick up his socks off the floor and that if he didn’t stop being so whiny, I’d put him in time out.

Not having to answer to anyone....I think everyone has to answer to someone.

(7) She says, SAHMS ARE IN CHARGE OF THEIR DAYS. There are things parents have to do every day, like get the kids’ lunches packed and get them off to school, but SAHMs literally have 8-10 hours a day where they have total control over what they want to do. I love when they claim that they “don’t get to sit on the couch and eat bonbons all day.” Dude, yes they can! When the kid goes down for a nap or the older ones are at school, they can totally sit on the couch watching soap operas, go to sleep, or even have a glass of wine. Anyone with an actual job would be fired on the spot for any of those things.

If being "in charge" of your day is important to you, then start your own business. Oh, by the way, if you want to drink a glass of wine in the morning, I think you've got bigger issues.

(8) She says, THEY FOCUS ON QUANTITY, NOT QUALITY. Studies have shown that the quantity of time you spend with your child doesn’t have a direct positive outcome on their overall well-being. When I’m away from my daughter, I miss her and I think about what she’s doing. Because we’re not together 24/7, I’m that much more excited to hear about her day when I get home from work. I know that I only have so many hours with her before bedtime, so I make the most of them.

I do not focus on QUANTITY over QUALITY. I have chosen a life that allows me to have both.

(9) She says, SAHMS ARE GIVING A GIFT, NOT A WORK PRODUCT. They’ve willfully volunteered to give their children an incredible gift, not provide their services in exchange for a bi-weekly paycheck.

You've "willfully" chosen to work outside the home. All parents are given a gift and the product is a happy, healthy, responsible, courageous person that is ready to take on the world.

(10) She says, BEING A SAHM IS ULTIMATELY A LIFESTYLE CHOICE. Most people work because they have to; others stay at home with their kids because they want to. SAHMs chose to bring a tiny human into this world, just as they chose to spend all their time energy and attention on this one little person. I respect that totally, but I can’t ignore the fact that SAHMs are also choosing to let someone else pay the bills to support them and their offspring. There’s nothing wrong with that, but there’s a distinction that has to be made.

Someone sounds jealous! I don't think any distinction has to be made. It's all about choices.