Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A-Z BLOGGING CHALLENGE: D is for DIGGING FOR DIAMONDS



Chris Harrison, the host of The Bachelor shows, should write a book on the do's and don'ts of dating.

I actually feel sorry for the Bachelor (Bachelorette) sometimes because so many of the folks that come on this show are immature, desperate, jealous, liers that have no life experiences and are just in it to win it.

Let me give you a little advice. If all you want to do is date to meet people and have a little fun, that's fine, but at least tell the people you are dating what your intentions are.

On the other hand, if you are dating to find that DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH, that could one day be your wife/husband then first, you need to get your act together, have a few life experiences and figure out what you want.

What are your goals? Do you want a career? Do you want to travel or are you a homebody? These few questions will help you direct your search. For instance, if you want to stay at home and raise 64 babies, then your going to need someone who can financially support the family. On the other hand if you want to be a furrier and you have to live in Jefferson, Missouri to be near your Great Aunt Bertha, then don't date someone that works for PETA and has no intentions of ever leaving Chattahoochee, Florida.

So many of the people that come on the BACHELOR SHOW have no idea what they want. They are immature and think someone else is going to make them happy and then their lives will be complete. Some even quit their jobs just to come on the show. Are you kidding me? I would toss you out of the running on that fact alone.

Be sure you are ready to face a little rejection. Everyone gets rejected at some point in their life. It's inevitable. Be open to why it went wrong. What did they do to make it not work and, an even better questions is, what did YOU do that made it not work? A break up is never one sided!

One of saddest parts of this show is to see these women and yes, some of the men, completely fall apart after the first night because they weren't chosen to stay. It's really pathetic. One of the things they say when they leave is, "I don't understand. I felt such a connection." The other one liner is, "What's wrong with me?"  There doesn't have to be something wrong with you. You're just not the match.

Dress to impress. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but at least put some effort into it.

----------This says, "I don't care. I am self centered, lazy and have a poor attitude." I hope this "fashion" trend dies a horrible death VERY SOON! Honestly, it looks like they have a load in their pants. I don't know how much this attire costs, but to me it looks like they didn't have enough money to actually buy clothes that fit. How can this even be comfortable? Really? Do you honestly think you look good this way? People look at the whole package not just your personality.

On the BACHELOR, I like seeing the people that are willing to wear jeans and sneakers, instead of miniskirts and spike heals all the time. Anyone can look good when you have someone else buying your wardrobe and doing your makeup and hair.

Be proactive. Join clubs, teams and groups -- anything that helps you meet people with similar interests and opinions. The person you've been searching for is not going to just ring your doorbell. It requires action. Surround yourself with friends who are dating too. Don't attend dinner parties with your married friends and wonder why you're not meeting anyone. Dating is fun, so make arrangements to let your date know you put some thought into the event and have a sense of humor when things don't go as planned.

There are so many dating avenues out there. I would stay away from the personals in newspapers, but other than that, why not try them all. I think the online services like EHARMONY, 8 at 8 or MATCH, are the safest.

Desperation is a major turnoff. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If so, be serious about only dating people who want this too, but do not date just anyone just so you won't be alone. Don't be annoying and contact someone you've just started seeing more than once a day. Don't be too available. If you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of your own interests and friends. People with full lives make the best dates.

Don't have sex on a first date either. It screams desperation and it's just not safe. If chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship could eventually wither away. Leave something to discover later. Revealing your innermost secrets too soon can scare people off. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve. Also don't give out personal information until you trust the person you're dating. Never date someone that is married. This is the best way to bring misery into your life. They will not leave their husband/wife for you. You deserve better.

Contestants on the BACHELOR scream desperation. They are willing to do almost anything to WIN it. They just want any wife/husband not the one that was meant for them. One season a lady said, "My eggs are rotting." She just wanted a sperm donor not a husband.

Ask a lot of questions. A good conversation can tell you so much. Be interested and interesting. Don't just hear what you want to hear. Really listen. 

The lack of real conversations is what bothers me the most on the BACHELOR shows. You never hear the couples having meaningful conversations about finances, kids, religion, politics and current events. It's mostly about how good of a kisser they are or how much fun they are having on their trip to India.

Manners count. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Don't be late. Don't check out other people. Don't text or make phone calls either. The person you are on the date with should have your undivided attention.

Be honest. Tell people directly if you're not interested. Lying and stringing people along is selfish. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, tell them. Don't lie because you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

Be honest with yourself too. If there is something about the person that REALLY bothers you (drugs, laziness, immaturity etc.), don't ignore it or think that they will change one day. What you see is what you get. Can you live, for the rest of your life, with the way they are right now

Safety first. Carry a cell phone and make sure to tell people where you are going and when you'll be back. Initially stay in well-lit public places. If you feel uncomfortable....LEAVE! Trust your instincts. Always get photos of people you met on the Internet first and if the photo doesn't match, leave. If people waste your time, don't give them a second chance, walk away. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to seek out healthy relationships.

Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs and dig through a lot of dirt to find the DIAMOND that was meant for you.

    1 comment:

    Amy McMunn Schindler said...

    Stopping by from A to Z. Man, I wish I had this when I was single...

    Nice job!

    Amy From The Mom Cave