Monday, November 22, 2010



The dictionary defines FORGIVENESS as: the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

BEING TOTALLY HONEST.....I do not forgive easily, I hold grudges, I am resentful and I remember past hurts both in myself and from other people. I know that forgiving someone doesn't make what they did right, but until I feel that the person "gets" what they did really hurt me, it is hard for me to move on.

Although I don't like it, I also understand that life isn't fair...but some people just don't deserve our forgiveness.

Plus when I hear, "I'm sorry," I ask myself for what....being caught? If you say, "sorry" that should mean that you understand you did something wrong and you won't do it when that same thing happens again....yah...

....I'm a little cynical. This will never be me.

I have very high expectations of people and although I know no one is perfect, I tend to expect it. I also think I tend to shy away from relationships because I don't want to disappoint people or have them disappoint me. Although I expect it in others, part of me thinks that I will never measure up so I am afraid to put myself out there.

I know I have learned from my mistakes (...and I had some big ones....divorce, bankruptcy....), but because I have a hard time forgiving others, I also have a VERY HARD time forgiving myself.

Some of the offenses against me have been HUGE and the person still doesn't "get it," but I realize that that is actually part of their character and they will never "get it." I have either had to cut all contact with them or just accept that I will never be as close to them as I wish I could be.

PERFECTION isn't possible....

.....but apparently it is a place!

JUSTICE: getting what you deserve
MERCY: not getting what you deserve
GRACE: getting what you don't deserve

I'm a work in progress and what it really all boils down to is FORGIVING myself and others for BEING HUMAN!

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