Tuesday, January 5, 2010


The new Bachelor, Jake, 31, pilot from Dallas, is so sappy sweet, that he may make you go into a diabetic coma. Richard says, "Jake's so maudlin. I can't wait for the crying on the balcony scene, PART 2!?!"

Ssshhh...DON'T TELL RICHARD I SAID THIS....ready....every season he says he's not going to watch because they hardly EVER end up marrying and usually just "pledge" to date, but by the end of the first show, I've got him hooked!

I think this season had the all time high for cheesy gimmicks and BAD pick up lines, including:

* dressing as a stewardess
* "You should probably fasten your seatbelt, because it's going to be a bumpy ride!"
* tickling him with a peacock feather
* "Do you have a registry for these guns?" (said as she squeezes his arm)
* giving him your son's favorite airplane toy
* giving him some "dirt" from Texas
* "How does it feel to be talkin' to the woman that you're going to marry?"
* having him flip a two headed coin
* "Allow me to drive your plane, and then I'll allow you to ride my Harley."
* making him a game spinner with her face on it
* "Hopefully in the end I could become your co-pilot."
* giving him aviator sun glasses
* "I really want that one on one time so Jake and I can get a direct flight to romance."

Jake started with 25 girls and had to send 10 home. The ones he sent home were not memorable, so I won't bore you. Below we have listed the ones who are left and after their names Richard and I have either written CUT, for the ones we would cut or KEEP, for the ones we think have a chance. Richard doesn't agree with a lot of my CUT choices because he wants to keep more of the HOT ones around a little longer, "JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE GOOD LOOKING!"

#1 Vienna (CUT), 23, Marketing Representative: "My favorite is my little baby puppy Chloe. We have mommy-daughter days, and we get all dressed up in our pretty little sundresses, and we'll sit outside at a little cafe. It's going to be really hard to leave Chloe. But on the bright side, I could be bringing her home a daddy!"

Richard says, "KEEP! Good looking in a trashy sort of way. Not in this picture, but if you saw the show you'd know what I mean."

#2 Valishia (KEEP), 32, Homemaker: More mature, but didn't act crazy enough to have any corny quotes, but she is the one who handed him the dirt from Texas.

Richard says, "CUT! Pointy chin, nothing more to say."

#3 Tenley (CUT), 25, College Admissions: Tenley tells Jake her, 10 Things About Tenley, "I have a big heart, I check my pride at the door, I'm a woman with values, I'm honest, I know how to have an awesome time, I'm a cuddle bug, I'm passionate, I'm ready to start this new adventure, and I think I'm a pretty good kisser." Tenley asks him for a kiss, which he gives her. Then she tells the other girls that it was "out of character," and she feels ashamed. Then she starts crying. She's only kissed one other man and that was her ex-husband.

Richard says, "KEEP! Spent half the show with her hair in her face. Get a barrette, would ya! Her sappy personality is so similar to his that Jake should cut her because it's like he's kissing his sister. YUCK!"

#4 Rozlyn (CUT), 28, Model/Make-Up Artist: "I've been a model forever. Maybe about ten years." DUH?!?

Richard says, "DEFINITELY KEEP! Heather Locklear type.

#5 Michelle (CUT), 26, Office Manager: "It will kill me if I don't get that First Impression Rose. Where I am in life right now, I deserve Jake. Filling in that missing spot, the husband, children, will just make me feel... even." HE NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM THIS ONE FAST! RUN, JAKE, RUN!

Richard says, "KEEP! Certainly for looks, definitely for emotional instability. Adds entertainment value."

#6 Kathryn (KEEP), 25, Corporate Flight Attendant: "When you need a breath of fresh air, I want you to come find me."

Richard says, "KEEP! Can you tell I am partial to blondes?"

#7 Jessie (KEEP), 25, Cosmetic Sales Manager: not all that memorable at this point.

Richard says, "CUT! Too young, too short. Reminds me of an attractive elf, but an elf, none the less. If she flicks back her hair, you'll see pointy ears."

#8 Gia (CUT), 26, Swimsuit Model: Absolutely adores herself. Looks at herself in the mirror a lot.

Richard says, "KEEP! Not the right fit for him, too self absorbed, but great "hair."

#9 Elizabeth (KEEP) (from Nebraska), 29, Nanny: I really like her. She steps out of her fancy shoes and throws a football around with Jake. She seems the most down to earth.

Richard says, "KEEP! Black hair and blue eyes! A "SUPER" combination."

#10 Corrie (KEEP), 23, Wardrobe Consultant: Another not too memorable one.

Richard says, "KEEP! Good looking enough. May be a dark horse in this race."

#11 Christina (CUT), 25, Restaurant Manager: She brought little bags of jelly beans for all the other girls. She says she'll give them a bag when they walk about he door. "Since I'm going to win." Too cocky!

Richard says, "KEEP! Kim Cattrall look alike. Attitude will stir the pot."

#12 Ella (CUT), 30, Hair Stylist: single mom to a 7 year old boy, that wants to be a pilot...what a coincidence!!!

Richard says, "CUT! Only made it past the 1st round because Jake didn't want to look like a jerk for cutting a mom."

#13 Ashley (CUT), 29, teacher: Put on the flight attendant costume! Just a little...CRAZY! Another girl I think he should run from.

Richard says, "CUT! But invite back for the next bachelor that's a doctor, so I can see her in a nurse outfit."

#14 Ashleigh (KEEP), 25, Account Manager: She trips and he catches her, which was very cute because she can laugh at herself.

Richard says, "KEEP! Can never have enough blondes."

#15 Ali (CUT), 25, Advertising Account Manager: She's the one that tickles him with the peacock feather! Give me a break!

Richard says, "KEEP! Same reason as #14, but this one looks like Carrie Underwood."

So, out of 15, I have cut 9! Let's see if my 6 make it to the end!?! Richard only cut 4! Just proves that women are much more critical, when judging other woman!


Jill said...

Tell hubby Rozlyn has a pointy chin too! I am guessing he was lookin' othe places! LOL!

Jacksmom said...

You forgot the awful pickup line from I think it was Channy-"You can land your airplane on my (it was either runway or airstrip) anytime!".

I'm with you, I cut most of them. I thought Christina was really cocky, but I started off liking her before she got out of the limo when she was saying that she doesn't get along with a lot of other women, most of her friends are guys, etc. That used to be me. I thought she was really bold and cocky though and after that, I was not a fan.

I thought he should keep Ali (didn't care for the peacock feather thing, but I loved her dress so she got points there, and I thought she was ok otherwise where I just totally didn't like the others). I also thought Elizabeth from Nebraska, Kathryn, and Elizabeth from DC.

And the drama continues!!!

Kris said...

I'm not a fan of the show...but I love to read your commentary! (And Richard's is pretty funny, too!) I do think Elizabeth from Neb is cute! And I think Ali is cute...but the rest...

Besides, what POSSESSES you to be on a show like this??? THAT'S MY question!