FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, STRONGER THEN A LOCOMOTIVE, ABLE TO LEAP TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND....IT'S A BIRD...IT'S A PLANE...IT'S...well, not quite......
I had a very interesting morning.
While Samuel and I were grocery shopping at WalMart we saw a very "Odd Lady". She had white hair, a floppy hat with a yarn pom-pom on top, a long coat, a GIANT purse and she was carrying a brown blanket. We were busy getting formula and diapers and we saw her standing by a rack of baby hats and mittens, holding 6 or 7 pair in her hands. Needless to say she stuck out.
I continued my shopping and I went back by that same rack of hats and mittens and noticed a pile of price tags on the floor (the ones that have the annoying white widgets on them, that you rip off when you get home....). Right away I wondered if maybe "Odd Lady" had been stealing. At that moment I got very CSI. I went to the grocery section and grabbed a paper towel (found at the end of the aisles to clean up spills) and picked up the tags (wouldn't want to destroy any finger prints). I headed for the front of the store, looking down the side aisles for a WalMart Person. I spotted "Odd Lady" again, down the aisle with paper and pencils.
Samuel and I watched her (very covertly, I might add) and sure enough we saw her put a package of sticky notes in her coat. I hurried to the front of the store and told "Manager Man Jose" that I had seen someone shoplifting and to follow me. I told him my story as we went. (He smiled when I told him about picking the tags up in the paper towel so I wouldn't destroy fingerprints. I thought I was very clever....watching all that t.v. is starting to pay off.)
He called someone on his walky-talky and "Security Man Ronald" showed up. I pointed out "Odd Lady" and while Samuel and I watched they approached "Odd Lady" who became very indignant and belligerent. "Security Man Ronald" led "Odd Lady" away and I went with "Manager Man Jose". I explained that I couldn't stay long since I had my cart full of groceries and a cranky baby who needed his nap soon. So "Manager Man Jose" took my name and address, copied my license and said he would call me later for my statement.
NO, NO, PLEASE, NO AUTOGRAPHS! Excuse me now, I have some vacuuming to do.