At the end of September, Judy at THE INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION BLOG wrote a post untitled, "Gotcha Day? Not in my family…"
Her three main issues with GOTCHA DAY (Family Day, Forever Family Day, Adoption Day) are:
While their intentions are noble, are adoptive parents actually creating more issues for their children as they grow older?
Are they focusing too much on how their children came to them?
By celebrating such a day, are they themselves making adoption an issue for their child?
In no way do I want to offend all my fellow adopters in blog land, but I have to say that I AGREE with Judy. I had never heard of this day before I started blogging. My husband was adopted at 4 days old and his parents never celebrated this. My sister adopted a child from Korea, over 20 years ago now, and she never did anything like this either, so it was a totally new concept to me. I considered it, but the more I thought of how bonded my niece and husband are to their families, the more my feelings turned against it.
I can understand it more for those who are of a different race or were adopted as older children, but even then I would focus on them as a child of my family and not an ADOPTED child.
When we were going through the adoption process my husband and I each had to write an autobiography. Richard's was about 4 pages long and, while I was proofreading it, I noticed that he didn't mention that he was adopted. My first thought was, he needs to mention this so we'll have some brownie points with potential birth mothers. In thinking about this more, I realized that he must totally feel like a 100% part of the family, if this just skipped his mind. I want Samuel to feel that way too.
As my husband was told that he was adopted, so will Samuel be told. You are an equal part of this family, with the same rights and responsibilities and you are no more or less loved and appreciated then any other member of the family. Here are the circumstances of how you came to be a part of our family (which whether by birth, marriage or adoption, everyone has) and if you have any questions we will gladly answer them. As he ages the conversations will change and he will be given pictures and letters from his birth mother, "K," who is just one more member of that extended family. We don't see or know everyone in our family the same, but we love them just as much. No two families look alike and that's ok.
God has always known he would be a part of this big, crazy family. The day he "legally" became ours was just a formality.