Dr. Leman says, "When it comes right down to it, anger is an active choice to control someone else. It's projecting your thoughts and emotions onto another person in an attempt to change their behavior." (p. 100)"The children have learned that being angry wins them something. They get attention, they get their way, people feel sorry for them, etc." (p. 100)
"Being angry in itself isn't right or wrong; it's how the anger is handled that is right or wrong." (p. 101)
"If children talk about what bothers them, it's like releasing the air out of the balloon. So give your children opportunities to talk about what is bothering them. Begin with open-ended statements: 'You seem upset.' 'I can tell by your face that something is bothering you.' 'I'm ready to listen if you want to talk." (p. 102)
"Teach your child to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. For example, "I feel like you don't respect me," instead of "You are such a jerk." Talking in "I" terms focuses on how your child feels about what's happening rather than pointing an accusing finger at someone else." (p. 102)
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