Thursday, June 25, 2009


SICKNESS: No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE (for an operation): We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you may have abut needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

Too much time is spent in the Rest Room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going to the Rest Room in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 a.m. to 8:05 a.m., 'B' will go from 8:05 a.m. to 8:10 a.m., and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the day when your turn comes again.

DEATH (other than you own): This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for the, and we are sure that someone else in a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

DEATH (your own): This will be accepted as an excuse but we would like a two-week notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.


Sara said...

I am rolling over here with the last one. "We'll accept death if you give us a two weeks notice" LOL

Melba said...

This is funny, but kind of scary too...I think some companies out there would like to implement such a policy!