Sunday, June 21, 2009


Heather at PRODUCTION NOT REPRODUCTION is having her second roundtable on adoption. The new writing assignment is: "Write about the father(s) in your family's open adoption(s). Our experiences are too varied to narrow it down to one specific question to answer. But every adoption involves at least one father. Write about his presence or his absence, record a memory or write him a letter. Tell us about the dads and the adoption-related choices they've made."

My son and my husband are both adopted, but neither will ever know their birth fathers. They are anonymous men that have missed out on amazing sons. Although not responsible for the men they have become, they were half responsible for my two wonderful men coming into this world and for that I have to thank them. In not being involved in their lives, all I can say is two other amazing men stepped up to the plate and became what the birthfathers couldn't and have been blessed because of it. Because of this reason Father's Day could be a bitter sweet day, but we focus on the men, who although not biologically their fathers, still in every other sense of the word, totally deserving of the title. My husband was raised, in such a way, so that he always felt like a total equal to his sister and brother. Having gone through this, he feels like his life has come full circle and he is now able to do for someone, what was done for him. It feels like our lives were meant to unfold this way. Richard feels blessed and honored to be Samuel's daddy.

On this day, there is also a connection between "K's" father and Richard. They are both married to women that couldn't conceive naturally and completed their families through open adoption. "K's" father is a wonderfully caring, strong, faithful man and we are blessed to have known him too.

So on this day I would like to say HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all those who have been absent fathers and have missed out on seeing their sons grow up, to those who raised many (Dick), to those who raised some (Don) and to those who are raising one (Richard). Also to my brothers and brothers-in-law, great fathers to my many nieces and nephews: Kurt, Kent, Mark, John, Brian, Andy and Kevin. I love you all! 

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