Wednesday, May 13, 2009

PARENTING by THE BOOK...chapter 1

The Walls Come Crumblin' Down:

"Once upon a time, people understood that in changing times, certain things should not change; that there must always be certain constants in culture.....morality, the need for adults to be contributing members of society, how children should be brought up.....Progressivism holds that just as most new technologies (such as computers) are better than old technologies (typewriters), new ideas are better then old ideas....rejects tradition....We decided that traditional values and forms had to go--that our parents' values were most definitely not going to be our values, and their ways of doing things were most definitely not going to be our ways." (p. 15)

"Before the 1960's, when parents had problems with their children, they did not seek advice from people with capital letters after their names. Rather, they sought the counsel of elders in their extended families, churches and communities. Grandma gave child-rearing advice based on the life she had led. After the 1960's, parents were no longer going to Grandma for child-rearing advice. Instead, they were seeking counsel from people in the mental health professions-people who dispensed advice based not on lives they had led, but rather on books they had read." (p. 18-19)

I was one of the lucky ones that although I was raised at the tail end of the 1960's and into the 1970's, I had older parents and therefore they raised me with older ideas and traditions. As a result, I still go to my parents for advice and tradition is very important to me.

"Parents who subscribe to the new way are not supposed to simply tell their children what do do; they are to reason with them and reward them when they 'cooperate.' ...to destroy the authority of the parents..." (p. 23)

I do think we need to explain things to our children, but we are not here to be Samuel's "friend." He will have tons of friends, but only two parents. We will let Samuel make choices, but our household is not a democracy and there will be consequences for his actions. We want Samuel to know that it's his actions we don't like, but we will love him no matter what. We also want him to be able to talk to us about anything, which I think is different then how we were raised. The basics of how our parents raised us is still the foundation of how we will raise Samuel.

"I can promise you this: Unlike the attempt to conform one's parenting to the many intricate and confusing do's and don'ts of Postmodern Psychological Parenting, this alignment will not strain the brain or cause doubt, anxiety and guilt. I can make this promise with authority because of two simple truths: 1. God makes nothing complicates. 2. Conforming to God's plan in any area of life will bring relief from troubles, cares and woes." (p. 29)

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

STUDY QUESTIONS:

1. In what specific ways does "honoring your mother and father" stabilize and sustain culture? How has the weakening of the traditional family contributed to a general weakening of our collective ability to respond adequately to forces that threaten America.

2. Have you subscribed, however unwittingly, to the tenets of Postmodern Psychological Parenting?

3. Do you parent from the head or from the heart and the "gut"? Do you tend to think a lot to intellectualize about child-rearing issues or do you rely on what is called "common sense"? How does thinking a lot prevent a parent from getting in touch with common sense?

4. Do you think you are having more problems raising your children than your parents had in raising you? What is different about your parents' approach when compared with yours?

1 comment:

Annie said...

that's the thing I hate most about foster parenting. All common sense has gone out the window.

I'm going to get that book and see how many more bad foster parent citations I can get:)