MY BIGGEST FRUSTRATION IS NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE MY BABY HAPPY? I SEE HIS CRYING AS UNHAPPINESS. I KNOW LOGICALLY THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY HE HAS TO COMMUNICATE, BUT AFTER 5, ALMOST 6 WEEKS, IT'S BECOME MORE FRUSTRATING. I WISH I COULD FIGURE HIM OUT QUICKER!
I HAVE LEARNED TO DECIPHER SOME OF HIS CRIES.
* when he cries in a low, on-again off-again way, it usually means he is tired, bored, or settling down to sleep. I know he has a certain amount of energy to expend, and crying is one of the ways he does this, but it is still hard to just listen to and let go.
* a louder, insistent cry means he is uncomfortable, hungry, has an upset stomach or a soiled diaper. I check all these and then usually the insistence lessons.
* sometimes he just wants to be cuddled, hugged and talked to, or his position switched.
I want to do everything "right" and I get upset when I can't solve the problem. Although everyone says enjoy these days and don't wish them away, I do. I know some of my frustration is also my own adjustment. I am 40 years old and up to this point, have been able to come and go as I please and my routine has now been dramatically altered. I also feel guilty, like I am neglecting other areas of my life: house, spiritual, cleaning and cooking. I also get scared when I think of going back to work....how am I ever going to find the time to get that "stuff" done too?
Sleep deprivation is definitely a factor, but I also think some of my feelings may be hormonal...I've read that premenopausal symptoms can start about this time.
I used to wake up, jump out of bed and I was going at 65 miles an hour in 1.2 seconds. I got 50 project done and didn't slow down all day until around 5 or 6 PM, but when I did stop all my goals and plans were usually accomplished and I felt satisfied.
Now, when I wake up I have to focus on Samuel's needs first, of course and all the other stuff that has to get done or I wanted to get done, is done when and if he falls asleep. I have taken to doing a weekly list of things to accomplish, but even then a lot of them are not done.
I want to love every moment of this....but sometimes I just don't.