This is a heart breaking letter that a birthmother wrote. The people that adopted her child cut ties with her and broke her heart.
I placed my daughter in 1986. Things were a little different back then. I picked the adoptive parents from a paper...no picture. No names...but they promised me pictures and update letters...only one update letter ever came...they did not include a picture. It was around the time my daughter turned one. The letter was cold...and dismissive...I never heard from them again.
I knew when I read the letter that I would never hear from them again....
If I were an adoptive mother...this is what I would write the birthmom...
I would tell her about...
his silly times...
his serious moods.
I would tell her funny stories...
and about the bumps and bruises.
I would tell her what he looks like when he sleeps at night...and send a picture too.
I would tell her what his favorite story is...maybe even send her a copy of the book.
I would tell her that he drools....and his hair sticks straight up in a certain place.
I would tell her that he frowns with a deep furrow in his brow...when he doesn't get what he wants....and how he laughs...that big belly laugh sound.
I would tell her that he pulls his sister's hair...and eats kitty food sometimes.
I would tell her that he cut his first tooth...or took his first step...and maybe even send a video, too.
I would tell her how that when we're out, the ladies love him!! They come to squeeze his big fat cheeks and fuss over this thighs.
I would tell her that our dog licks his face...and the kitty runs away when she sees him coming.
I would tell her all about the toys he loves...his trucks...or balls...or plastic tools.
I would tell her what a mess he makes when he eats his dinner...tossing bits to the dog waiting below.
I would tell her how he loves to paint....and playdo makes him laugh.
I would certainly write that we love him, so....and he completes our family...but more than that, I would let the stories show her how loved he is...so she will know.
I think all I ever wanted was a glimpse into her life...just a little snippet...just so I could know she was loved...and happy...and healthy and if they took the time to tell me these things...in a warm and loving way, I would have known they valued me...that they respected me....that, maybe, they loved me too...and those are the feelings about me, they would pass on to her.
Instead, I found a daughter that hates me. That hates me her whole life. Without ever even knowing me.