I found this article today on cosleeping. The more I read the more I know that cosleeping is NOT for me.
The positives:
* encourages breastfeeding by making nighttime breastfeeding more convenient
* makes it easier for a nursing mother to get her sleep cycle in sync with her baby's
* helps babies fall asleep more easily, especially during their first few months and when they wake up in the middle of the night helps babies get more nighttime sleep (because they awaken more frequently with shorter duration of feeds, which can add up to a greater amount of sleep throughout the night)
* helps parents who are separated from their babies during the day regain the closeness with their infant that they feel they missed
The negatives:
* 121 of the deaths were attributed to a parent, caregiver, or sibling rolling on top of or against a baby while sleeping
* more than 75% of the deaths involved infants younger than 3 months old
* suffocation when an infant gets trapped or wedged between a mattress and headboard, wall, or other object
* suffocation resulting from a baby being face-down on a water bed, a regular mattress, or on soft bedding such as pillows, blankets, or quilts
* strangulation in a bed frame that allows part of an infant's body to pass through an area while trapping the baby's head
* sharing a bed with a baby can sometimes prevent parents from getting a good night's sleep
* infants who cosleep can learn to associate sleep with being close to a parent in the parent's bed, which may become a problem at nap time or when the infant needs to go to sleep before the parent is ready
THESE NEGATIVES ARE SOME MAJOR NEGATIVES...AND EVEN A SMALL CHANCE THAT SOMETHING COULD GO WRONG, IS ENOUGH OF A CHANCE FOR ME TO SAY NO WAY TO COSLEEPING!
I'LL FIND OTHER WAYS TO BOND WITH MY BABY, ONES THAT WON'T POTENTIALLY CAUSE HIS DEATH!
SORRY, COSLEEPERS, I AM NOT WITH YOU ON THIS ONE!
8 comments:
We were cosleepers with the first three, then we became this is OUR room you are not allowed. The latter is so much better. It may be more "convenient" to cosleep, but it's a hard habit to break. There are boundary issues not to mention they all seem to end up sleeping diagonally and no one sleeps well. Booger and Princess have been on a routine since about week three home. Had I only known. I put them to bed about 8 - fed them at 11 and 3 with very little interaction, and they woke up about 8 and I actually slept with two infants in the house, which made me a better mommy and wife:) Bravo for figuring this one out before hand.
I am terrified by the idea of co-sleeping! When I had my foster baby, he slept in his bassinet or in his seat inside the bassinet next to me (he needed elevation because of acid reflux). One of my cousins did co-sleeping and it was a very hard thing to stop. I believe bribery finally worked to get their oldest out of their bed!
Agreed. Negative list or not. The biggest negative for me is that you have NO time for yourselves. And it's very important to create boundaries--both for the child and the parent.
We considered having our infant room in, but after talking to several friends with experience, all said infants are noisy...and you wake up more than you need to...so no go there either. That's what baby monitors are for!!!
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During our adoptive parenting classes, we had to watch a video on the risks of death from suffocation due to all the reasons you mention here. Luckily they used a doll in their demonstrations, but it was still enough to make me feel sick. There is NO WAY I would take that risk!!
Cosleeping is not for me either. There are other options and ways to bond. Adoptive mother breast feeding is not impossible, supplemental feeding systems, and plain old skin on skin contact. There is something that is a bed/crib thing which pushes up against your bed (can't remember the name at this time) so there is no chance of rolling onto your baby.
For us, the nursery is right across the hall so it's not like we'll be far. We have already discussed what we're going to do and we plan on dividing the night. For example 7pm-1 for one person and 1-7 for the other. If both spouses work full time is it fair for the one to be half dead from exhaustion? Especially in my case because I have a chronic fatigue issue. Even if I do manage to get pregnant I will only breast feed for the minimum amount of time because I need to get back on my meds a soon as possible. Added bonus? With formula it's easier for you and your spouse to share bottle time (my understanding is that depending on the baby a lot of time can be spent on feeding).
Oh yeah... I think think it would affect the intimate aspect of your relationship with your spouse?
I'm not for cosleeping either. I know all the concerns but I wouldn't want to have to break the habit, it's hard enough getting her to sleep through the night.
I guess I've seen too many Super Nanny shows where the kids sleep with the parents when they are 10.
You don't need cosleeping to bond.
We had a bassinet in our room for the first month so she was taken care of instantly.
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I really should have added in my post that while Susan co-sleeps we are very concerned about these issues. When her babies were newborns and at more risk she didn't sleep with them. With Julia she kept her in a cradle next to her bed until she was a few months old and Sophia she tried to keep in her crib until she was a few months old. But Sophia really woudn't sleep - so when Susan did take her into her bed, she took tons of precautions like no covers, her husband slept in another room to make sure that there was a ton of space around the baby, etc.
I have actually personally known a baby who was three weeks old and died in her mother's bed. It was horrifying. I went to that baby's funeral and grieved and comforted her mother.
I know the risk all too well. That is why both my babies were in their beds. I have only slept with my babies when traveling and when they were much older (over six months) and able to turn their heads etc. Even then, I am very careful about covers, etc.
It is a risk. And a very personal and emotional issue for many women.
I am only personally considering co-sleeping now that my daughter is almost one year old.
But having said that, she is in her bed right now. I haven't given in to cosleeping yet because of the concerns of habits etc.
We will see what happens for us. I have no firm answers yet.
And if I have another baby, she will also be in her bed (with her angel care monitor, no blankets, no bumpers, no stuffies - NOTHING - and on her organic mattress) until she is quite old.
It is a personal decision and for me, when I have that tiny little new thing - I want her safe on that organic mattress with no risk of smothering.
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