Monday, June 2, 2008

How to deal with a crappy neighbor...advice please...



Last summer we got a new neighbor. When she first moved in she said, "hi," we introduced ourselves, chatted a little and I let her get on with unpacking her bags. After that it's like she disappeared....I would see her get her mail and I'd wave and she'd wave and that was it. About 2 weeks after the move in I got a note taped (electrical tape no less) to my front door. It said...

"Neighbors for the last few days I have been trying to catch you to speak to you about the over growth of your vines-I do not appreciate having to cut your over growth of vines in my yard-Please maintain your vines in your yard-Thank you"

This totally blew me away....

1. The "vines" she mentions are Morning Glory vines that I had growing along the fence and I used the top of the fence (that we share) to train the vines. They were beautiful. After this note I went out to check them and she had "CUT" all the vines and they were now on the ground.

2. I was home a lot during this time and she never once knocked on my door or rang my doorbell.

3. After this she wouldn’t' even look at me and ignored me completely (She'll wave and talk to my husband though.)...I thought fine...I'll move my MORNING GLORIES and leave you alone. So, that is the way our relationship has been. She is like a hermit in her house (I'm sure there are issue there...), with her 20 something year old son.

Now she has 2 very large sheep dogs (see picture above) that are jumping on the fence and it is becoming more loose every day. I have 2 dogs too but they are in a dog run, on the other side of the fence and never encounter her dogs. Also she actually has a dog run but doesn't use it. They have put up a couple brackets, but the entire fence is loose from their jumping.

I've asked my husband to try and talk to her or her son, but he is very sweet and doesn't want to stir up anything. He's been putting it off. I am worried this fence may come down and then they'll get in my yard and ruin it. Her yard is all rocks and dog poop. If my husband doesn't want to talk to her....I would like to write a note about the situation and leave it on her door.
Something like...
__________________
Dear Neighbor,
I have noticed that the fence we share is taking a beating from your dogs. I do realize you have tried to strengthen it with brackets, but the entire fence is now loose and is threatening to fall. The fence is also bowed in and I don't want my plants to be damaged. We would like to work with you on rectifying this situation. Please call us at your earliest convenience.
__________________

Ok, blogger buddies...give me your advice....

9 comments:

Darcie said...

Oh goodness. I have a difficult neighbor too; that's so hard. I'm thinking maybe you should handle the situation with the dogs the way you wish she would have handled the situation with the vines. Just knock on her door and talk to her about it. Make sure your husband is with you though; you never know how she'll react.

Good luck, however you decide to handle it! :)

Nancy said...

Ah, the nasty neighbor. We had one years ago, and the situation was so unpleasant that we were forced to call the police after she called our dogs over the fence and fired an air rifle at them. (I am not kidding!)
The only solution here is to be the bigger person. You didn't like having a note taped to your door, and so it doesn't make sense to do the same thing. Knock on her door and point out the issues with the fence. Or if you can get her phone number, give her a call. While this conversation may not end well, you can at least say that you tried (which is more than she can say).
Good luck with this. I remember how unpleasant a situation ours was. I am so happy now that we live in a neighborhood with nice, respectful neighbors.

THopgood said...

WOW! I have no advice....and to be honest I don't think I'm the person to ask cause I would have told her off after the letter she posted on your door. But good luck! keep us posted!

Bri said...

I have found most people are much less confrontational in person. Notes (and emails and such) can be left open for much interpretation. I would guess you would get a much better response if you spoke in person. You may be (hopefully!) pleasantly surprised!

L L said...

I would talk to her in person or over the phone. Let us know how it goes. I would also bring your husband along as the pp suggested.

Melba said...

I agree - I would nip the whole notes back and forth thing in the bud. Talking to her in person will be better, If for no other reason than she can see your genuine concern and caring that way. Also, this makes her more accountable and she can't just ignore your note or leave you another one in return. GOOD LUCK...and let us know how it goes!

Melba

Annie said...

When we moved in six years ago the houses on either side of our neighbor were both for sale, we joked that they must make terrible neighbors. Little did we know.... Their 30 something son still lives with them and deals drugs out of the house. Needless to say, they are not the responsible type. It is not uncommon for the cops to have the house surrounded, or for girls to come from their house screaming at all hours. I wish you luck.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh wow. What a situation. I am soooo non-confrontational that it would be difficult for me to go up and speak to her in person, although I'm thinking that might possibly be the best way to handle it.
I know I am late commenting on this post...have you already decided what to do?

Storm said...

I would go knocking on her door as I am sure she is less confrontational in person than she is in her letters.

Whose fence is it? You may shre it but who actually owns it?

Good luck and I'll be praying for this situation.