tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post3479972548076876160..comments2023-11-05T07:37:23.135-05:00Comments on LIFE AT TRACEY SPEED: IF NOT ADOPTION, THEN WHAT? PART1Traceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11064113501129840818noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-24051598087047875682010-01-05T17:08:16.113-05:002010-01-05T17:08:16.113-05:00Tracey, I like that you're doing this series. ...Tracey, I like that you're doing this series. I wrote about ethics in adoption while we were choosing an agency to work with and I think it's very important. <br /><br />There is a great need for adoption reform. My father was adopted by my grandparents in Canada and grew up in CT. He still cannot get access to his birth records as they are sealed. There are many things that need to change ranging from the agency to the legal system. But the writer declaring that adoption should be abolished when she hasn't given any ideas to what will happen to those children in the system or the parents who are trapped that would have otherwise considered adoption is not helpful either. <br /><br />I would also love to know how you were able to do a picture of Jesus holding Samuel. Please email me!!Jacksmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12828208191293796948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-75349971378406912022010-01-02T19:45:00.916-05:002010-01-02T19:45:00.916-05:00I was adopted through the state at 4. I am soooo. ...I was adopted through the state at 4. I am soooo. Thankful. I would of been raised by abusive, niaeve, drug addict parents. The state tried to keep us in the family with grandparents, but it was too much and we were then put in foster care. Luckily we found a family fast, I feel for those whose parents keep getting one more chance....that's wayy too confusing. I may be adopting one day, so I think its good to remember these things.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13721841243948708403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-53487791372216764582010-01-02T09:26:05.855-05:002010-01-02T09:26:05.855-05:00I think some countries have better systems for orp...I think some countries have better systems for orphans that let them keep the original identity and legal connection to the natural family as well as adding the new name on and a legal familial connection to the caretaker family. I wonder if that is what some people mean when they want to abolish America's style of adoption.<br />As far as blank slate, I KNOW our son and myself (the adoptees) were not blank slates!! We came out 50/50 of nature nurture as adults and my husband is constantly mentioning I am a cross between my two moms!! (and I think he means it in a bad way-lol) J/k<br />Being predestined by the Lord to be adopted, that I don't feel in agreement on with you, although I can't explain what I do believe as I have not figured that out! <br />The girl whose blog you linked, I would expect she could take those awful people to court but I am probably wrong. So many cases are so wrong and humans so cruel to each other disapoints me so much. Can I ask how you created the Jesus holding Samuel picture? You can email me if you want!L.J.S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08860930919432373752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-9208288836552368262010-01-01T13:36:14.692-05:002010-01-01T13:36:14.692-05:00I think that the "facilitators" of adopt...I think that the "facilitators" of adoption should be further examined such as the "counselor", attorney, and other individuals (not the prospective adopters or birth family) who pushed, encouraged, and possibly are the reason why this adoption went sour as well as others. <br /><br />Also, what should happen to the children who are removed from homes due to abuse, drug usage, etc. WHO should raise and care for them? <br /><br />As other people have stated, it was heartbreaking to read this woman's story and I can certainly see why she is anti-adoption and has some valid points. However, I think there are many appropriate circumstances, etc. when adoption is "right" and has worked. I have read many blogs where the open adoption has worked fabulously. Birth mothers willingly look for another family to raise their child. Granted, there may be some adoptive parents who do not follow through on their promises and that is not right, but many do. Interesting study that you are doing here.MtnGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01882656639070055494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-57791837563630377612010-01-01T11:01:39.535-05:002010-01-01T11:01:39.535-05:00I think you've done a good job of expressing w...I think you've done a good job of expressing why so many adoptees and natural parents are against adoption in your blog series. So many of them have had awful experiences--which to me seems like a very good reason to be "anti-adoption". I have only ever once heard of an adoptive parent being anti-adoption, and that was after she was made aware of the massive fraud that was taking place in her case. Of course the huge majority of adoptive parents are going to say that the pros greatly outweigh the cons, because they get to keep a child and have the happy family the always wanted. <br /><br />I am increasingly concerned with the horrific tales coming from the other two sides of the triad, and I think to ignore them is to turn a blind eye to incredible injustice.<br /><br />The saddest part is that adoptive parents (and the ignorant public) <i>always</i> say (and I say "always" because I've heard this every single time the topic comes up) that "that was then--things are so much better now". 1) We're not going to actually know if things are "better" for another 20 years, when today's adoptees grow up and have the opportunity and courage to assert their rights--and the time to process and mourn. 2) International adoption is absolutely not better, and to say it is is simply denial. 3) Natural mothers may be "better" off now than during the "Baby Scoop Era", since hopefully they are not gagged while having their newborns stolen, BUT it's no where near where it should be. In my opinion, adoption will not be a *just* process until pregnant women make all decisions to "give their baby up" <i>after the baby is born</i> and all adoptees have complete access to original and accurate records.<br /><br />I am not anti-adoption. I am just an adult adoptee (who had quite a happy childhood) who is trapped by the state of NY from receiving any serious information about the circumstances of my heritage or birth.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00494982752705287453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-75335075716562534202010-01-01T09:35:57.818-05:002010-01-01T09:35:57.818-05:00Her arguments illustrate a desire for all of life ...Her arguments illustrate a desire for all of life to not be "messy". For every situation to neatly fit within only certain categories. The fact of the matter is that NOT all adoptions are horrible. Do I believe that there are adoptive parents who do not have the best interest of the child in mind? YES! I do...I know of a few who believe that "now they are in my home--my child--they do NOT need to know about their beginnings". These are very disturbing cases...and do not create a positive, open environment for the children. <br /><br />Do I wish for the perfect world for all children being raised by their biological parents? NO. The ability to pro-create does not equate to being ready to parent. For some reason some cannot separate the two situations as they are very different.<br /><br />It is very unfortunate that her experience was so negative and hurtful. It is clear she is speaking from her place of hurt. I pray she finds healing, which is ultimately what she is looking for.Krishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05692988119185221445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7631451666879199613.post-5223183602159278392009-12-31T13:29:50.549-05:002009-12-31T13:29:50.549-05:00Thank you for your series and research on such a d...Thank you for your series and research on such a delicate topic. I am looking forward to more! I did read this woman's blog and I, too feel sorry for her and the experience she had. It does not, however mean that all adoptions are bad, unethical and should be abolished. So many more are good and wonderful! I know adult adoptees who have no regrets about being adopted and have the utmost respect for their birthfamilies.Christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05896375748313287662noreply@blogger.com